Not because of her, not because of us. But because he couldn’t bear the thought of her being happy with other people.

He couldn’t stand the thought of her doing to him what he did to her.

He was possessive, he got jealous – because to him, he was the only person who mattered. I don’t want a guy who’s like that. And I don’t want to feel like that about a guy – because every time there was somebody, something, who demanded Dad’s time and took him away from us, I was jealous.

I got angry. I felt hate.

I don’t want to feel like that.

‘I’m looking forward to it,’ I say stiffly.

‘Where are you meeting?’ There’s a gulf opening up between us that is far wider than the physical gap on the pavement.

‘Stacey’s.’ It’s a bar not far from where I live, and the moment Steve suggested it I knew it would be perfect. Casual, open, the type of place you have to shout a bit to be heard. Not the type of place that is uncomfortably intimate, or stiff and starchy. Fun.

‘I’ll go there with my date, then I can check you’re okay.’

Eurghh, why do those words ‘my date’ annoy me so much? ‘I’ll be fine. But thanks for the offer.’

‘You need me there, in case it turns out he’s a psycho.’

‘Gee ta, now I feel a lot better, big brother.’

‘Be careful, Rosie, I don’t want anybody to hurt you, to stop you believing in love.’

‘It’s only a date.’ I don’t get him, I don’t get what he’s so … well, scared of. What did he say? Love is fine until it goes wrong, until you lose it?

He stops, standing in front of me so that I have to look up and meet his gaze. ‘I’ll be there. It’s the least I can do. Make sure you’re safe.’

Safe from what exactly? Steve isn’t a threat, I’m sure of that. So, is it him, or myself I need protecting from?

‘And Rosie?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Your homework is to write a new list: the type of man you’d really like to have in your life. Not the one you think you should.’

‘I—’

He puts his finger on my lips to shut me up. ‘You don’t have to hand it in, it’s just for you.’

Chapter 13

Noah was right. Steve isn’t exactly my dream date. He doesn’t really tick any of the boxes on my new (not even committed to paper) list.

I thought I wanted, no correct that, I know that the type of man I actually need is all the things I said at the start. Some of those things are non-negotiable, like being faithful, a guy I can trust blah, blah … but I’ve had to add on ‘funny’. Noah can be wickedly funny; he can make me smile when I don’t even want to.

With Steve I’ve just smiled to be polite, like you do at a party of colleagues or family.