And now Noah is making me laugh at his ridiculous puns, just like Dad used to do.

And all I can see is that Noah is not for me. That I’m heading for danger if I carry on playing this game.

Except I want to. Well to be honest, I have to if I stand any chance of taking a date to my parents’ anniversary party.

I know that Noah is not my type at all, but right now, just at this moment, I’m enjoying forgetting my quest for the right man and just enjoying being with the wrong one.

Really enjoying it.

It’s not like being on an awkward date; it’s like being with Robbie, but better.

And to be honest, he seems unselfconscious when it comes to his bad jokes. Dad never makes fun of himself. Everything is pretty measured and about making you laugh in the right places – not about making you feel better.

I concentrate on Noah’s hand, which is swinging in time with my own. Parallel, not quite touching. Agony and ecstasy, pain and pleasure. Yin and yang. Oh lordy, I’m going all existential. I must be in shock. It must be the pain. And it is going to be a pain, literally. I like to sleep on my left side; my right side doesn’t work the same.

‘Are you sure you’re okay, Rosie? You seem a bit quiet?’

I glance up and he is studying me with his clear grey eyes.

I want to blurt out, don’t look at me like that. But instead make do with, ‘Don’t take your eyes off Hugo! He might bolt.’

‘He’s fine, aren’t you, mate?’ He chuckles, and Hugo guffaws back and a bit of normality is restored. ‘My sister’s still got a right menagerie now. I’m used to them.’

‘I thought I was,’ I say, then realise I sound a bit sulky. ‘I’ve had lots of dogs, but they usually only come up to my knees, and they’re not scared of everything. Hugo is a complete wuss.’

‘He’s a boy.’ He ruffles the hair on the top of his head. ‘Needs reassurance,’ he winks at me, ‘to be kept close. Body contact.’

I try not to meet his eye, and instead look at Hugo. Who is glued to Noah’s thigh.

‘I thought he’d like a long lead; you know, a bit of freedom.’ I see now the error of my ways. A dog on the end of a very long leash is pretty hard to control, unless it is so small you can just reel it in like a fish. I don’t think the retract button on an extendable lead would work with Hugo.

I’m beginning to think Dad might have more in common with Hugo than Noah.

‘He needs to know you’re there for him, don’t you, boy?’ Hugo looks up and for a moment they stare at each other, complete love-in. I’m beginning to feel a bit jealous.

‘Huh, well.’ I think I have discovered why Ophelia’s other dog-sitters were unavailable – even if Hugo is in fact a big sweetie. Which he is. ‘I’m not convinced dog sitting is one of my special skills. It’s trickier than man-dating!’ I sneak a sideways look at Noah. ‘I thought I’d try it instead, dog sitting, doggie borrowing; I thought I might meet somebody nice in the park or something, with a common interest.’