“Oh, I thought it was you, your car, pulling into the garage just now. I guess not. Anyway, while I was waiting for you I saw a dog walk by that looked just like your dog, Cash. Maybe a brother or sister? Made me miss him and I didn’t even know him that well.” Sam is staring at me. We are at a stoplight, but still, eyes on the road.

“Eyes on the road, Sam.” He drops his eyes. I add, “It’s quiet without him around. No barking, no growling. Poor animal changed after Mary died. Wasn’t fun to be around. Who knew dogs have emotions?”

“Of course they do. I love dogs.” Sam won’t drop the dog subject for some reason. Cash is dead. End of dog story.

“Everybody loves dogs.” Time for a pivot. “Thanks for coming to the ceremony. That was nice of you.” I smile.

“Sure. You looked nice. You look good today, too. Like something has changed.” Sam is politely appraising me. I enjoy his flirting. It’s not his fault. He has never seen me even try to look pretty before. I’ve probably shocked him a little.

I smile at him in the mirror. Take off my sunglasses so he can enjoy the full effect. Something has changed, you’re right, Sam. “Thank you. Last night’s ceremony was just something to get through, but thank you for your help with the dress. It’s important for the mom to look good. And now that the year of mourning is over, I’m making an effort to get back to life.”

“Well, I’d say you nailed it. Today, too.” Sam looks back at the street.

Surprisingly, I feel a little stirring, deep down in my core. I’ve missed this: a gentle, light flirtation; the promise of something more. Of course, there will never be more with Sam—he’s a twentysomething Lyft driver. I’m just lonely, and this is practice.

Back in the day, back when David dropped me off after our first date in Malibu, hoping I’d ask him in, my attraction to him was so strong I almost blew it.

“Can I come in?” He leaned over, his hand sliding behind my seat. I could feel the current running between us, the stirring between my legs. I couldn’t invite him in even if I’d wanted to, of course. I didn’t live there, in the Brentwood condo where I’d had him pick me up. And I did want to, I did want him, more than anything and anyone I’d ever met. He’d told me everything about his wealthy parents, his lonely upbringing as an only child, his desire for a big, happy family. He was handsome, and lonely, and looking for a life partner, something I wanted just as much. I’d told him we had so much in common, when of course we didn’t.