There are only two notes now, so let’s just focus on those, shall we? Betsy knows more than she’s told us, and Josh knows Betsy intimately. Trust me, I read his love notes to her. In a box, under her bed, the obvious place. But those love notes have stopped. The last love letter I could find from the poor boy was more of a goodbye of sorts, and it was written back in September. It was confusing and I didn’t have much time to read it. All that I have seen on Betsy’s phone this school year have been check-ins between the two of them, almost friend-level texts. Although Betsy does tell him she loves him. Has she been leading him on?

Josh, why didn’t I think to talk to you sooner? I hope I’m not slipping. Of course I’m not. It’s just hard with all these moving pieces, all those months of pills and grief. But I’m on it. On him. I hurry to my bathroom and apply concealer, blush and mascara. I pull my hair into a low ponytail. I wrestle on some athletic wear. Blue shorts, white T-shirt and finish the look with a trucker cap with the word Thankful stamped on the front.

I could be hiking, walking on the beach or doing just about anything on a warm May afternoon at my beach city. I have a flash of memory to what Mary was wearing the last time I saw her. Almost the same outfit, but black shorts instead of blue. A USC hat—the one thing we never recovered. I take a deep breath, finish tying my tennis shoes and head out. I will walk down to Hoffman’s office. I will be a normal Southern California housewife, one who actually leaves her house every morning to walk in the sunshine and soak up vitamin D. It’s all the rage these days, you know, getting vitamin D from the sun instead of a pill. Did you know it’s possible to overdose on vitamin D? So many ways to harm yourself or somebody else.

At the clubhouse I pull open the door and all three staff members rise to greet me, an excessive display of deference they are forced to perform hundreds of times a day.

“Mrs. Harris. So good to see you out and about.” That’s Robert. He’s nice. He didn’t add anything about Mary, and that makes my heart relax.

“Good to be here. Is Hoffman around?” I smile. “I’m thinking about signing up for the couples’ tennis tournament.”

“That’s great!” Kathy has big glasses and big teeth. She reminds me of an enthusiastic horse. “Hoffman is in his office!”

“Thanks.” I wave to them all and they sit down in unison, just waiting for another resident to come through the door to force them to stand again.