The tentacled entity inside the closet wasn’t sure how it had got there, or how long it had been there, or even what a closet was. All it knew was that one minute it had been minding its own business in a quiet corner of the Multiverse, idly wondering which tentacle to use to feed a smaller creature into one of its many gaping mouths, and the next it had been squashed into a very small space with spiders crawling across its face. Because the space was so small, the entity was entirely unable to move, and so it had been trying to blow the spiders away with whichever one of its mouths was nearest. It had tried eating one of the spiders by catching it on its tongue and pulling it into its mouth, but the spider’s legs had caught in its teeth, which annoyed the entity greatly. The spider hadn’t tasted very nice either. Now the entity’s tentacles were starting to cramp, and it really needed to go to the toilet very badly, but it didn’t want to go to the toilet in the closet because it already smelled bad. In addition, the piece of its bodily equipment that it needed to get to in order to go to the toilet was currently squashed against one of its legs and the entity wasn’t sure what would happen if it just took a chance and decided to relieve itself. Frankly, it thought, that stuff could go anywhere.

Suddenly a light shone upon it. One of its heads peered from between a pair of crossed tentacles. Another peered from between its legs. A third popped out of the mouth of the first and squinted at the small figure before it.

Jolly stared at the entity for a couple of seconds, then closed the door. He scratched his chin. He nibbled a fingernail.

He called Angry over.

“What is it?” said Angry.

“Open that door,” said Jolly.

“Why?”

“Just open it.”

“No.”

“Come on, for me.”

“No! I know what’s going to happen.”

“I bet you don’t.”

“I bet I do.”

“Go on, then. Tell me what’s going to happen.”

“I’ll open that door, and a broom will fall out and hit me on the head.”

“I promise you that won’t happen.”

“A mop, then.”

“No.”

“A bucket.”

“I guarantee,” said Jolly, “that if you open that door, nothing will fall on your head.”

Angry raised a finger in warning.

“If anything falls on my head . . .”

“It won’t.”

“Because if it does, we’re going to have a disagreement.”

Jolly took a step back as Angry opened the door.

If the entity was surprised the first time that the door opened, it was better prepared on the second occasion. Jaws snapped. Tongues lolled. Tentacles squirmed ineffectually. It made a horrible sound somewhere between a gibbering howl and an echoing shriek.

Angry gave it a little nod and closed the door softly.

“Did you put that in there?” he asked Jolly.