XVII

In Which BoyStarz Return to the Limelight, Thus Making a Bad Situation Worse

A LARGE CROWD HAD GATHERED outside Wreckit & Sons to witness the grand reopening of the new store. There were lots of small children doing the things that small children do: talking, crying, complaining they wanted to go to the bathroom, and, in the case of one little girl, asking Jolly where he thought he was going with her mother’s purse. They were being entertained, if that was the right word, which it probably wasn’t under the circumstances, by BoyStarz.

Dan had convinced Mr. St. John-Cholmondeley to allow BoyStarz to perform some songs at the grand opening. Mr. St. John-Cholmondeley had never heard of BoyStarz. More importantly, he had never heard them sing, which was why he had agreed to allow them near the store, and had also promised Dan some money, even if Dan was never going to live to collect it. Mr. St. John-Cholmondeley started to regret his decision as soon as he heard the opening lines of “Love Is Like a Toy Shop,” but by then it was too late.

Dan and the dwarfs walked to the rear of the store, where Mr. St. John-Cholmondeley was waiting impatiently at the service entrance. He tapped his watch as the dwarfs approached.

“Is your watch broken?” asked Jolly.

“No, it is not. You’re late.”

Jolly looked at his own watch. At least, it was his own watch now, but about five minutes earlier it had belonged to someone else.

“I don’t think so. I have us bang on time.”

“I’m telling you—” insisted Mr. St. John-Cholmondeley, but Angry interrupted him.

“Here, give me a look at that. I’m good with watches.”

Before Mr. St. John-Cholmondeley could object, the watch was off his wrist and in Angry’s hand.

“Ah yes, I see what’s wrong here,” said Angry. “I’ll have that fixed in no time.”

The watch vanished into Angry’s pocket, never to be seen by Mr. St. John-Cholmondeley again.

“Now,” said Angry, steering the bewildered Mr. St. John-Cholmondeley into the store, “best be getting along. Don’t want to keep the little ’uns waiting, do we?”

“Er, no, of course not,” said Mr. St. John-Cholmondeley. “By the way, do you think you could make BoyStarz stop singing?”

“What?” said Dan. “Make them stop? But they’ve only just started. Listen to them. They’re like nightingales, they are.”

“They’re more like seagulls,” said Mr. St. John-Cholmondeley. “And you can’t hear them properly because your ears are stuffed with cotton wool. All of your ears are stuffed with cotton wool.”

“Ear infection,” said Dan.

“Very contagious,” confirmed Angry.

Outside the store, BoyStarz finished their first song. There was some applause, but only because people were relieved that they’d stopped.

“Quick, let’s get inside before they start up again,” said Jolly, and Mr. St. John-Cholmondeley didn’t try to argue.

He led the dwarfs down the back stairs of the store. They passed no one else along the way, and Wreckit & Sons seemed very quiet.