My throat swelled with tears, both at the endearment and because I hadn’t thought he’d noticed. He’d been nicer than usual recently. For more than a year. But once some things are said, they can’t be taken back and no amount of being nice will ever make them right.

“Where are you going to?” His voice was steady and calm, so unlike what I’d expected.

I didn’t know what to say. I hadn’t planned to tell him anything more than the fact that I was going, but I could see now that that wasn’t going to work. And he knew I wouldn’t want to stay with my family; my mother in particular would be horrified. As for friends—well, there was no one I could have gone to and he knew that as well as I did.

“It’s okay,” I said eventually. “I’ve got something sorted.”

“What about your bags?”

“They’re in my car. I couldn’t take everything, obviously. Don’t throw anything away; I’ll be back to pick up the rest.”

He continued to stare at me and I felt myself shrivel under his gaze.

“And I’ll call Josh,” I said.

“You will not.” For the first time that evening his voice was harsh and unrelenting, and I shrank back. “I’ll tell him.”

I had to accept what he said. I didn’t know what he’d tell him. This was the second time Josh had had to deal with a separation; I only hoped that now that he was seventeen he’d be able to cope with it.

I stood up. I needed to leave. What was the etiquette when you left your husband? Did you kiss? Shake hands? Glare at each other? Shout, See you at the solicitor’s? My hand reached automatically for my bag still slung across my shoulders, and I took my car keys from it. On the key ring were my house keys.

I hesitated. Should I leave them behind? The house was in my name, too, though, of course. In fact, more of it was mine than his, but as we were married that wouldn’t make any difference. My aunt had died not long after I met Tom; she’d left my sister, Fiona, and me enough money to put a good deposit on a house. Tom and Belinda had just divorced and she’d kept the house. He was broke and wouldn’t have been able to buy on his own. There was no mortgage on our house now; we owned it together. I had a right to those keys. I’d have to speak to him later about what to do about selling it, but for now I just wanted to get out of there. So I kept hold of my keys, said nothing about returning them, and walked toward the door.