I shrugged. “All right. Older than us.” I was so used to holding back what I thought, of having an impassive face, that the lie was easy. “I didn’t see that much of him. Sarah was showing me how to use their computer system.”

He seemed mollified. “Have a drink,” he said, and poured me a glass of wine. The bottle was empty now and he went to fetch another. I glanced at the clock. It was barely six. “I thought we’d get a takeaway tonight. What do you fancy?”

I knew his game. He was going to act as though nothing had happened and if I referred to it later, I’d be in the wrong. So I stood in the doorway and stared at him, silent. He realized what was going on then, of course. I could see his feelings flitter across his face, first fear, then anger, then regret.

He walked over to me and touched my cheek with his hand. I flinched.

“I’m sorry, Ruby.”

He leaned forward to kiss me. I tried to move back but I was up against the wall by then and couldn’t. I started to panic and shoved him away.

He followed me upstairs and in the bedroom he shut the door behind him, but kept his distance. “I’m sorry,” he said again. “I lost my temper and said things I shouldn’t have said. You know I never want to hurt you.”

Part of me wanted to run a mile from him and the rest wanted to believe what he said. I didn’t want to think I was married to a man who could be cruel. So I just said, “If you say that sort of thing to me again, it’s over,” and he agreed, his head bowed, then he went downstairs to order a takeaway from my favorite restaurant, though he didn’t like the food there much himself. And for the next few months he was back to his old self: friendly, interesting, happy to see me.

Living with Tom was like walking on eggshells. I lived in constant dread that something would set him off and had to quickly learn how to conceal my opinions. To silence my voice. He could go for ages being completely normal. He’d be friendly, funny, talkative, and kind. And then he’d switch. I’d feel the change coming, like the drop in air pressure just before a storm. Instantly I’d be wary, on guard, and kicking myself for relaxing.