“I did mean it,” he said. “I did. Listen to me.” He reached out and tentatively touched my hand again. This time I didn’t move, but every bit of me yearned to hold him. “After you’d gone that night, Jane came to my office. You remember she’s Emma’s sister?”

I nodded.

“I’d had a meeting with Rick Brown and I was there longer than I’d planned. Jane was waiting for me. We were to have an exit meeting. And for whatever reason she decided to use my laptop while she was waiting. I’m not sure why. She didn’t stop long enough to tell me. And she saw our messages from that afternoon.” He grimaced. “They went further back, actually. I hadn’t deleted them for months.”

I felt my face go crimson. Throughout the day we’d use the company’s instant messaging service, thinking we were safe. Once the conversation thread was closed, they were lost and there was no way anyone could retrieve them. I used to close mine down all the time, in case someone saw them, but I suppose Harry hadn’t thought anyone would look at his laptop.

“How much did she see?”

“Enough to see that we planned to leave home that night.”

“Oh God.”

“Eleanor came in then and we did the handover with Jane. Then when Eleanor went back to her room, Jane really let me have it. She told me that Emma had just found out she was pregnant. I hadn’t realized, of course. I hadn’t even thought she might be. We assumed we couldn’t have children.” He looked down. “We were tested years ago and were told it was unexplained infertility. Anyway, you don’t want to know about that. She told me that Emma was pregnant and that if I carried on seeing you, she would tell her everything. I knew Emma would leave me if she found out I was seeing you.”

“But you wanted to leave her!”

“I did. I wanted to be with you. I just hadn’t factored in a baby.” His face was pink with emotion and he gripped my hand tightly. “Ruby, I have never fathered a child. It’s something I’d always wanted. Longed for. I wanted a baby even more than Emma did. And I loved you. Of course I loved you. You’re wonderful. But I had to make that decision.”

“And you didn’t think you’d bother telling me?” I couldn’t help it. I knew I sounded bitter, but I was bitter. I was still furious with him, not so much for not leaving his wife, but for not telling me. For letting me down. “Why would you treat someone you loved like that?”