While we were together, Tom had often ended his messages with a kiss. I always did, but sometimes he wouldn’t, depending on how he felt. I scrolled up and realized that he’d ended every message since I left with a kiss. Was that automatic? Would he realize one day what he’d done and regret it? Or did he mean it: Was he being affectionate?

My stomach clenched at the thought of talking to the estate agents. I knew they’d find out that we were splitting up, because they’d want to know if they could find us something new. And I didn’t want to see Tom’s face tighten as he’d have to admit we were divorcing. I knew he’d find it hard, especially as it was his second divorce. I didn’t want him involved in my life now, to know where I was living or what I was doing. As far as he knew, I was still working for Sheridan’s; I certainly hadn’t told him I’d been fired. I wondered then where he thought I was living, but shrugged it off. It didn’t matter what he thought. I cared for him, but my life was my own now. I think that was the first time that I felt hopeful, as though I had a future that I could control.

And so I replied:

I’d rather not be there if that’s OK. Let me know how much the cleaners charge and I’ll transfer half to you.

His reply was swift:

Don’t be silly, Ruby. I’ll sort that out. But how are you? I’ve been worried about you. Are you OK? x

I almost laughed. I was as far from okay as I’d ever been. I couldn’t bear to look round my new home, at its stained carpet, its sofa that made my back ache.

I’m OK. Thanks for dealing with the agents.

I hesitated, but didn’t put a kiss at the end. Those days were gone.

He replied instantly. I didn’t remember him replying so quickly when we were together.

Fancy coming round for a drink sometime? It would be good to see you again x

I didn’t know what to say. I was frightened of saying no outright and I was terrified that if I did accept, I’d find myself moving back in there. I had to force myself to remember what it was like at home and sometimes that was hard to do. I didn’t reply. I didn’t let myself think about the fact he’d see his message had been read. Quickly I turned off Read Receipts on my phone, though I knew he’d probably already seen that I’d read his message.