How could I possibly tell him that the baby might not be his? Probably wasn’t his. Almost certainly wasn’t his. His face was flushed with pride, but there was something else there, too. It was guilt.

I recognized it, you see, because I’d seen it on my own face.

•   •   •

The flowers were a waste, because the next thing he said was, “Let’s get away.”

I pulled away from him. “What?”

“Let’s just get out of here for a few days. A week or so. Or two, even. Let’s just hide ourselves away.”

“Two weeks! I can’t do that. What about work?”

“One week, then. You haven’t got a lot on at the moment, have you?”

“No, but . . .”

“Tell Annie you need some time off.”

I started to laugh. “Just like that?” My mind raced through the projects we had on. We’d just finished a big project and were ahead of schedule; I knew I could afford to take some time off. “And what about your work?”

He hesitated and my stomach dropped. Of course, he’d be thinking about her. And I could hardly criticize him for that, when I might have her husband’s baby in my belly.

“Screw it,” he said. “I haven’t had a break for ages.”

I said nothing about his trip to Paris just weeks before. The less I said about that weekend the better.

“Come on, what about going to the Lakes? Or abroad somewhere? Let’s find somewhere special with lots of pampering for you. Are you feeling sick yet?”

I nodded. “I feel horrible. Everything tastes of metal; it’s disgusting. That’s how I realized I was pregnant.” I outlined all my symptoms and he listened avidly, just as I’d known he would, when I’d first daydreamed about this moment years before. I felt horrible knowing he probably hadn’t caused them, but honestly, I couldn’t think of a way out of it. And then I thought of Ruby and Tom, and all I wanted was for us to get as far from them as we could. I looked carefully at him and saw strain in his eyes and knew he wanted to get away, too.

“Okay,” I said. “Let’s just take off.”

“Where do you fancy?”

“I don’t care. Let’s just get into the car and see where it takes us.”

He grinned at me. We’d had that sort of holiday so often when we were young. We’d set off from home not knowing where we’d end up; as long as we were together it hadn’t mattered at all. I ran upstairs ahead of him, not wanting him to see the deceit on my face.