Adam says, "I only have enough for half the adoption fee. So, you know. We'll split him and he can be both of ours."

I don't know what to say. I'm not sure I can say anything without crying.

Instead I set Dog on the ground, step up to Adam, and take the pen so I can sign the paperwork.

"Vince."

I lift my gaze to meet his.

"A dog is a long-term thing," Adam says, studying my face like he might find some trace of what I'm thinking there. "If you aren't totally, completely, really sure, don't do it."

A long-term thing. Not just one or two years, but a decade. More. What happens after that?

Life, says a quiet voice in my mind that sounds a lot like Casper. Life happens after that. The thing Casper and Maggie were robbed of way too early.

What Adam is offering me, asking me, isn't just let's have a relationship and a dog, it's so much more than that.

Have a life with me.

Fight with me.

Fix things with me.

Everything will be okay because we'll make it okay.

It won't be easy. It will hurt and it will ache and there will be days yet to come where I'll be so sad I can't think of anything except being sad but—maybe, now, I will be able to look at Adam and look at our dog and the life we're struggling to build, and realize something comes after the sadness.

I sign the adoption papers.

Then I grab Adam's face in my hands and kiss him.

Adam smiles bigger than I've ever seen him smile.

We take the dog outside, Adam's hand gripping mine tightly. On the steps leading up to the shelter he says, "What should we name him?"

We study our weird-looking dog, with his crazy eyes, lolling tongue, crooked ears, and missing leg. Anyone who saw him would think—

I say, "Let's call him Fubar."

#

From: Vincent H. <[email protected]>

To: C Harms <[email protected]>

Subject: RE: Darling Boys

Casper,

I think I like my job. I like the animals. It's still a miracle I managed to get it, but wouldn't you know it, Helen—the lady who hired me—has seen me there several times before? Guess I'm not as invisible as I think I am.

Adam and I are seeing Dr. Dumar twice a month. She's very nice. She says we might feel worse some days because it's forcing us to address things we don't want to. I like that she isn't determined to medicate me.

Every other week, we also go to Harold's for dinner. Sometimes his new girlfriend joins us. She works at a chiropractic office near his work; he met her after going in because he pulled something in his neck taking out the battery in the van for me. How's that? I inadvertently got a couple together. He's happy. I like that.

Fubar is settling in. My lease is up soon so we're moving into a larger apartment. (It has a real bedroom!) It'll be right next to the park so we can take him for more walks.