I am in love.

"See," Adam whispers, "It isn't about the people, you know? It's about the animals. You could do something that involves taking care of them rather than dealing with customers. Like—"

"I don't want a job, Adam," I snap, and instantly regret it with the wounded look he gives me. Even the dog recoils, backing away like I've just crippled its other leg. My chest constricts. I turn away and duck back under the rope, hurry out of the kennels, out of the shelter, retreating. Cowering, because I'm so good at that.

What does he expect? That I can get a job, function normally, and live a normal life until I'm ready to die? Not that I've made up my mind either way, because what I do largely depends on too many factors I can't even begin to predict—

(Casper.)

(Adam.)

(My own moods.)

—but the idea of getting settled into anything that involves daily interaction with strangers is terrifying.

When Adam finds me I'm in the van, staring at my hands in my lap. Embarrassed for getting so upset and running out like I did. Embarrassed that I'm still trying to get a grip on my emotions. Humiliated because there's no legitimate reason for me to be on the verge of tears like a fucking five-year-old without knowing how to even express what's wrong with me.

What is wrong with me?

He says nothing. Only buckles himself in and we sit there for awhile in silence while I try to calm down.

Just when I think he might say something, his phone pings. The noise I've come to recognize as an email rather than a text or a call. Not that anyone ever calls him. He takes a breath, holds it a few seconds, then fishes his phone out of his pocket.

I don't think anything of it. Not until Adam's choked, feeble voice snaps me out of my daze.

"We need to go."

CHAPTER 27

There are three cars outside Casper's house I don't recognize. I pound on the front door with more effort than is necessary until an unfamiliar older woman pulls it open and frowns at us.

"Can I help you?"

We only ran across the street, but I'm out of breath from adrenaline squeezing my lungs tight. "Is Casper home?"

"Sorry?"

"Caitlin," Adam corrects quickly. "We're here to see Caitlin."

The woman's mouth tightens. I think she's about to tell us to get lost when Robert appears over her shoulder. "It's all right, Diane. They can come in."

Diane smiles thinly. She steps aside and disappears into the living room, where other strangers are seated. I don't see Amanda. More importantly, I don't see Casper.

I can't stop shaking.

Robert doesn't look so hot. His eyes are red and shadowed, his hair a mess, his beard in need of a trim. He takes a seat at the table and we sit across from him. My mind has an almost wooly, thick feel to it, and I can't find words. For once, Adam succeeds where I fail.