Luke is being equally discreet, and the only one whose voice is resonating through the garden is Aran. Even so, I’m only catching the odd intriguing word.

‘… brand … positioning … Cannes … next year … Europe …’

‘I agree,’ chimes in Luke. ‘But … mumble mumble … big budget … Academy Awards …’

Academy Awards? My ears prick up. What about the Academy Awards? God, I wish there were subtitles.

‘You know what?’ says Sage with sudden animation. ‘Fuck them. They’re a … mumble mumble … Pippi Taylor … well, their choice …’

I’m nearly falling off my sunbed, trying to hear. It said in the Hollywood Reporter last week that Sage Seymour had lost out to Pippi Taylor in the last three roles she’d gone for. It also said that Sage was on a ‘downward slide’, not that I would mention this. I think that’s why she’s hired Luke – to help turn things round for her.

‘… Lois Kellerton situation …’

‘… have to ignore Lois Kellerton, Sage.’

Lois Kellerton. I sit up straighter, my mind working frantically. Now I remember. There’s some old feud between Sage and Lois Kellerton. Isn’t there a clip of them on YouTube, yelling at each other backstage at an awards ceremony? But I can’t remember what it’s all about.

‘Ignore that bitch?’ Sage’s voice rises indignantly. ‘After everything she did to me? Are you kidding? She’s a … mumble mumble …’

‘… not relevant …’

‘… totally relevant!’

Oh, I can’t bear it. For once, I have something to contribute to the conversation! I can’t keep quiet any longer.

‘I met Lois Kellerton!’ I blurt out. ‘I met her when we were out here house-hunting.’

‘Oh, really?’ Sage glances briefly up towards me. ‘Poor you.’

‘I didn’t know that, Becky.’ Luke looks surprised.

‘Yes, well. It was quite bizarre. You’ll never guess what she was doing.’ I feel a flash of triumph as Sage finally gives me her full attention.

‘What was that maniac doing?’

‘She was …’

I hesitate for a moment as Lois’s pale, tense face flashes through my mind. Her pleading voice. Her hand on mine. I did promise to keep her secret, I think uncomfortably. And I’ve kept that promise until now. (Except telling Suze. That doesn’t count.)

But on the other hand, why should I protect her? She was breaking the law. Exactly. Exactly! I should really have marched her to the nearest police station. And then she tried to bribe me. Well, I’m not someone who can be bribed. No way. Not Becky Brandon. Besides which …

I mean, the point is …

OK. The real, honest truth is, I’m desperate to keep Sage’s attention.

‘She was shoplifting!’ The words pop out of my mouth before I can think about it any more. And if I wanted a reaction, I’m not disappointed.

‘No way.’ Sage’s eyes flash, and she bangs the table with her hand. ‘No way.’

‘Shoplifting?’ says Aran, in astonishment.

‘Come here. Come!’ Sage pats the chair beside her. ‘Tell us all about it.’