‘If he wanted to build something,’ the earl is saying, ‘what’s wrong with a folly? Tuck it away somewhere. But a fountain? Bloody stupid idea.’

I stare at him angrily. How dare they come along and be so critical?

‘I disagree,’ I say coolly. ‘I believe this fountain will be a major landmark in the country for centuries to come.’

‘Oh, you do, do you?’ He fixes his baleful gaze on me and I lift my chin. I’m not afraid of some old earl.

‘Yes,’ I say defiantly. ‘Today will be unforgettable. You’ll see.’

‘Sixty! Fifty-nine!’ The loudspeaker guy starts chanting, and I feel a sudden rush of excitement. At last! Tarkie’s fountain! I clutch Suze’s hand and she beams back excitedly.

‘Twenty-three … twenty two …’ The whole crowd is chanting by now.

‘Where’s Tarkie?’ I say over the noise. ‘He should be here to enjoy it!’

Suze shrugs. ‘Must be with the technical guys.’

‘Five … four … three … two … one … Ladies and gentlemen … The Surge!’

A roar of cheers breaks out, as the fountain spurts up from the middle of the lake, and hits the height of …

Oh. OK. Well, it’s about five feet. It’s not that high for a fountain called The Surge. But maybe it’ll go higher?

Sure enough, it slowly rises up to about twelve feet, and there’s renewed cheering from the crowd. But as I look at Suze, she seems horrified.

‘Something’s gone wrong!’ she exclaims. ‘It should be about five times that height.’

The water falls back down; then, as though with a massive effort, pushes itself up to about fifteen feet. It drops a little, then rises again.

‘Is that it?’ the earl is saying contemptuously. ‘Could do better myself with a hose. What did I tell you, Marjorie?’

Now there’s as much laughing in the crowd as there is cheering. Every time the fountain lifts, there’s an outburst of cheering, and every time it drops down, everyone says, ‘Aaah!’

‘It’s the water pressure,’ I say, suddenly remembering. ‘Tarkie said there was a problem.’

‘He’ll be devastated.’ Suze’s eyes are suddenly bright with tears. ‘I can’t believe it. I mean, look at it. It’s pathetic!’

‘No it’s not!’ I say at once. ‘It’s brilliant. It’s … subtle.’

The truth is, it does look pathetic.

But then suddenly there’s an almightly Bang! and a stream of water surges right up into the air, what seems like a hundred feet.

‘There you are!’ I yell, and clutch Suze in excitement. ‘It’s working! It’s amazing! It’s fantastic! It’s … aah—’ I break off with a strangled yell.

Something’s gone wrong. I don’t know what. But this isn’t right.

A mass of water is falling at speed towards us, like a water cannon. We stare, transfixed – then it splats all over three people behind me, and they start screaming. A moment later, the fountain fires another waterbomb into the air, and we all start holding our hands above our heads. Another moment later and there’s another splat and two more people are drenched.