‘Mum! How are you? Listen, I’m styling Sage for a premiere tomorrow! And I’m meeting Nenita Dietz! She especially called Aran to say she wanted to meet me! Can you believe it?’

‘That’s lovely, Becky.’ Mum sounds tense and distracted. ‘Listen, darling, where’s Dad? Can I speak to him?’

‘He’s out at the moment. I’ll get him to call you back.’

‘Well, where is he?’ I hear a shrill of alarm in her voice. ‘Where’s he gone? Becky, you said you’d keep an eye on him!’

‘I am keeping an eye on him!’ I retort, a bit impatiently. Honestly, what does she expect, that I stalk my own father? ‘He’s been out with Tarquin, Mum. They’ve really bonded. It’s so sweet. Yesterday they went out sightseeing and had supper together and—’ I break off just before I say ‘got drunk’. ‘They had a good time,’ I amend. ‘Mum, you mustn’t worry.’

‘But what’s this all about? Why did he suddenly fly to LA?’ She still sounds distressed. ‘Have you found out? What’s he said to you, love?’

I feel a huge twinge of guilt. I should have made more time to talk to Dad yesterday. I really should. And I should have got those autographs for him. I feel terrible about that.

‘He hasn’t said that much,’ I admit. ‘But we’ll have a big old talk tonight. I promise. I’ll wheedle it out of him.’

As I put the phone down ten minutes later, I feel both better and worse. Better, because it’s always good to talk to Mum. But worse, because I can see how I’ve let things unravel. I’ve been too distracted. I should be more on the case with Dad … I should have been there for Suze … I close my eyes, burying my face in my palms. Everything feels painful and wrong. I’ve messed up in all directions, all at once, and I didn’t even realize I was doing it, and now I don’t know where to start to put things right … What am I going to do …?

For what seems like ages I simply sit there, letting my thoughts whirl around and gradually settle. Then, full of determination, I grab a piece of paper from the kitchen notepad, and write a heading: Resolutions. I’m going to make my life work for me. I’m not going to let it whirl around like a kaleidoscope any more. It’s my life, which means I get to choose how it goes. Even if that means wrestling it to the floor and bashing it on the head and saying, ‘Take, that, life!’

I scribble hard for a while, then sit back and look at my list with resolve. It’s quite a lot – it’ll be a challenge – but I can do it all. I have to do it all.

Resolutions:

1. Bring peace to Luke and Elinor. (Like St Francis.)
2. Go on the red carpet and get a million autographs for Dad.
3. Come up with perfect outfit for Sage and get hired by Nenita Dietz.
4. Make friends with Suze again.
5. Save Tarkie from cult.
6. Find out reason for Dad’s trip and reassure Mum.
7. Buy strapless bra.