I take another mouthful and try to chew it a hundred times, as recommended in the blog I read. But honestly. How can this be good for you? My jaws are aching and all I can taste is sprouty things. I would kill for a KitKat—

No, stop it. A-listers don’t eat KitKats. If I’m going to be in their crowd I need to learn to love grain soup.

‘Luke, maybe we should buy a yacht,’ I say, to take my mind off the grain soup.

‘What?’ He looks flabbergasted.

‘Just a little one. And then we could hang out with other people on yachts. Like Ben and Jennifer,’ I add casually. ‘Those kinds of people.’

Sage was talking about Ben today as though they’re best friends. Well, if she can be friends with him, why not me, too?

‘Ben?’

‘Ben Affleck.’

‘Ben Affleck?’ Luke puts his spoon down. ‘Why on earth would we hang out with Ben Affleck?’

‘We might!’ I say defensively. ‘Why shouldn’t we? We live in LA now, we’re in the movies … you’re bound to meet Ben Affleck at a party or something …’

‘I doubt it,’ says Luke, dryly.

‘Well, I will, then! Maybe Sage will introduce us. Or maybe I’ll style him or one of his friends.’

And I’ll become best friends with Jennifer Garner, I think secretly. I’ve always thought I would hit it off with her.

‘Becky, this conversation makes no sense.’ Luke is shaking his head and I look at him impatiently. He’s so slow sometimes.

‘Don’t you realize everything’s changed? I’m in the public eye now. I’m in a whole new zone.’

‘You’re hardly an A-lister,’ he snorts, and I feel a dart of indignation.

‘Well, I will be! I have paparazzi outside the house … Sage Seymour calls me all the time …’

‘The paparazzi have gone,’ says Luke, unmoved. ‘And Sage calls me all the time, too. That doesn’t make me an A-lister.’

‘Aran believes in me,’ I say pointedly. ‘He says I’m going to be huge. He says I could have my own network show by next year.’

Luke sighs. ‘Darling, I don’t want to rain on your parade – but don’t believe every word Aran says. He’s a great guy, but he just says whatever the conversation of the moment seems to require. Maybe he believes it, maybe he doesn’t. It’s the Hollywood way.’ He sips his wine. ‘And another thing: we need to get rid of those goons. We can’t live with them lurking around the place all day.’

‘Mitchell and Jeff?’ I put down my spoon in dismay. ‘I couldn’t live without Mitchell and Jeff.’

Luke peers at me incredulously for a moment, then throws back his head in laughter. ‘Darling, you’ve only had bodyguards for a day. You can’t be dependent on them already. And if you are, I’m afraid you need a reality check.’ He gets up from the table. ‘I’m making myself a sandwich. Sorry.’ He starts slathering mayonnaise on to bread, and I watch in secret envy. ‘Since you’re talking to your best friend Sage non-stop,’ he adds, ‘you can tell me something. I’m convinced she’s up to some lunatic plan or other. What has she said to you?’