‘So why am I looking at a picture of you on the Daily World website, sitting on the car bonnet, brandishing your sunglasses and beaming at the camera?’

‘I was making a phone call,’ I say defensively. ‘I just happened to sit on the car. They must have snapped me.’

‘You happened to sit on the car?’ says Luke disbelievingly. ‘How does one happen to sit on a car?’

‘I was going about my daily life,’ I insist. ‘It’s not my fault if I’m being stalked and harassed by the press.’

‘Becky.’ Luke exhales. ‘What kind of game are you trying to play here? Because it’s a dangerous one. Once you invite these people into your life, it’s very difficult to shut them out again.

I don’t want to shut them out, I think mutinously. I want to grab my chance while I’m hot.

But Luke wouldn’t understand, because he’s totally warped by his job. I’ve heard his personal views before, when he’s had a couple of glasses of wine. He thinks fame is overrated and privacy is the greatest luxury of the modern world and the tsunami of social media is going to lead to the permanent disintegration of human interaction. (Or something. I sometimes stop listening, to be honest.)

‘I’m not playing any game,’ I say, trying to sound righteously indignant. ‘I’m just dealing with a situation, the best way I know how. And what you could do, Luke, is support me.’

‘I am supporting you! I’m advising you! I told you to stay indoors! Now you’re all over the papers—’

‘It’s for my career!’ I say defensively.

There’s silence down the phone and suddenly I realize my sat nav is talking to me.

‘Right turn not taken,’ she’s saying sternly. ‘Make a U-turn as soon as possible.’

Damn. I missed my exit. It’s all Luke’s fault.

‘Look, I have to go,’ I say. ‘I need to concentrate on the road. We’ll talk about it later.’

I ring off, feeling all cross and prickly. Any other husband would be proud of his wife. I want to talk to Aran. He’ll understand.

‘Make a U-turn as soon as possible,’ the sat nav persists.

‘All right! Shut up!’

I really have to focus on the road. I have no idea where I am, except that I’m going in the wrong direction. Truthfully, I’m still a bit hazy about most of LA. I mean, how on earth are you supposed to get to know the whole city? LA is so big. It’s about the size of France.

OK, maybe not France. Maybe Belgium.

Anyway, I need to step on it. Finally I reach a point where I can U-turn. I swing the car round, ignoring the hoots from some other totally unreasonable drivers who shouldn’t have been driving so fast, and set off, this time in the right direction. Shining Hill Home Estate, here we come!

As I get near my destination, I’m looking out for some beautiful shining hill, but I can’t see one. All I can see is a great big road with motels either side and lorries thundering past, and billboards. This isn’t at all what I was expecting.