‘I know that.’ I nod. ‘But you’re on Eduardo’s ship. He’s really violent and he hates Arthur. So wouldn’t you keep it hidden? If you really loved Arthur you’d protect him, surely.’

April Tremont stares at me silently for a few moments. ‘That’s a good point,’ she says. ‘Why am I playing with it?’

‘Maybe you’re supposed to be quite stupid?’ I suggest.

‘No!’ says April sharply. ‘I’m not. Ant!’ She raises her voice. ‘Ant, come over here!’

Oh God. I tuck my face down into her skirt and try to look as inconspicuous as possible.

‘Ant, I have a problem with my motivation,’ says April. ‘Why does Gwennie get out the scarf?’

I sneak a quick glance upwards – and Ant is staring at April as though suspecting a trick question.

‘We went through this already,’ he says. ‘It’s sentimental. She’s thinking of her lover.’

‘But why get the scarf out now, when it’s so dangerous? She’s on an enemy ship. Why would she be so foolhardy?’

There’s silence for a few moments, then Ant yells, ‘Dylan! Get over here. Please explain to April the motivation of her character.’

At once Dylan comes hurrying over, his sneakers squeaking on the floor of the soundstage.

‘Oh, OK,’ he says, sounding a bit nervous. ‘Well, Gwennie is thinking of her lover Arthur. She’s remembering the times they had together. So she gets out the scarf—’

‘Why?’ interrupts April.

‘To remember him by.’ Dylan sounds a bit flummoxed. ‘That’s her motivation.’

‘But she can remember him without a scarf. Why would she risk his life for the sake of a scarf?’

‘She’s a woman,’ says Dylan feebly. ‘She’s sentimental.’

‘She’s a woman?’ retorts April, sounding suddenly livid. ‘She’s a woman? That’s no kind of answer! Just because she’s a woman, it doesn’t mean she’s an imbecile! I’m not doing it,’ she says firmly. ‘I’m not taking out the scarf. Gwennie isn’t a moron. She wouldn’t do it.’

‘But you have to take out the scarf!’ says Dylan in consternation. ‘That’s the point of the scene!’

‘Well, you’ll have to find a different point for the scene.’

‘April, sweetie,’ says Ant, breathing hard. ‘You have to take out the scarf. If Eduardo doesn’t see the scarf, then he won’t launch the attack on the Fleet of Foes. That’s the whole second act. That’s the whole fucking movie.’

‘Well, it doesn’t make any sense,’ says April obstinately. ‘Becky’s right.’

‘Becky?’ Ant sounds at the end of his tether. ‘Who’s Becky?’

Reluctantly I raise my head from April’s skirts to see Ant staring at me with a thunderous disbelief.

‘Oh, hi,’ I say nervously, and risk a little smile. ‘Fab directing,’ I quickly add. ‘Really inspired.’

‘You again?’ says Dylan incredulously.

‘Who the fuck are you?’ Ant expostulates. ‘You’re derailing my movie!’ He almost looks like he might hit me.

‘No I’m not!’ I say in horror. ‘I mean – I didn’t mean to!’

‘You should be thanking her!’ says April. ‘The scene has a big hole in it and she’s the only one who noticed.’ She stands up. ‘Sort out your scene, gentlemen. I’ll be in my trailer. Gilly, Uggs?’