I know Abayomi will be out – he has a senior managers’ meeting every Monday – but I leave a message on his office phone. Then I take the bus straight back to my flat where I’ll have one precious hour before I have to fetch Charlie. On the juddering journey, I check my voicemail. The message is from someone called Freya, a support worker from the CMHT. Her voice on the recording is quiet, nondescript. There’s just a discharge questionnaire she wants to run through with me, she says. Sorry not to catch me; she’ll try again later. I delete the message with hardly a second thought.

All I can think about is Sarah. Sarah from the civil service office. She was just a tiny fragment of my life, but now that connection is magnified a hundred-fold. Our lives crossed only for a moment, but Sarah is so vividly real to me now, not just some name on a form or body in a crime scene. Now I know of other people out there who knew her. People the police maybe had no reason to track down, because there was no evidence of a crime, because the case closed so soon. They released a statement to the press, but with so little detail, how could they expect anyone to come forward from that? And I could leave it all up to the coroner, step away and keep out of it, but how can I possibly let it alone now? All the coroner will rule on is the cause of her death, which won’t explain any of the rest of it. But I have the chance to make contacts, find answers, and surely that’s the least I can do? I keep thinking of that radio playing in her flat, the three dinner plates laid out ready. There must be people out there who cared about her, who were planning to visit. Who was coming? Who was she expecting? What can possibly have gone so wrong?

I have to find answers and fill in the blanks, I don’t know how else to quieten my mind. Maybe I am overstepping here. Maybe I’m interfering where I shouldn’t. But there seem to be whole swathes of information that the authorities have missed. And that old email in my inbox burns like a sign.

I need someone else who knew her, someone who can help me. I have to speak to them and find out what they know. All this time with no information or answers. But now, finally, I have a place to start.