Matthew’s voice is shaking when he responds. I really seem to have hit a nerve more than I ever could have expected to.

‘Are you trying to upset me?’ he asks, his face crumpling now. ‘Is that what you came here for? Are you bringing him up just to test me or tease me? Why are you talking about Tom Farley, Charlotte? I’ve left all that behind. I’m trying to move on!’

I realize that I’m shaking now too as he raises his voice. It’s not like him. It’s so not like him and it’s frightening me. He downs the remainder of his pint, leaving me dizzy with where I’m going now with this conversation, and calls for a vodka and Coke from Angela who looks like she’d rather be anywhere than near us right now. She pours him a drink and sets me up with another gin and tonic and I feel like I’m going to need it.

‘Look, I just need to be honest with you. I met him a few days ago, OK?’ I say to Matthew.

I can’t stop now. I have to finish what I came here to tell him.

‘I just bumped into him on a night out really unexpectedly and we spent some time together catching up. He is so, so sorry for whatever happened between the two of you, and the whole breaking up of the band that meant so much to you all, but we’ve all moved on like you said, Matthew. Can’t you forgive him? It’s not good for you to hold onto so much anger.’

Matthew drums his fingers on the bar. He shakes his head really slowly.

‘It’s you and him again, isn’t it?’ he says to me, closing his eyes in disbelief. ‘I don’t believe this! That’s what you came here to tell me, isn’t it? Isn’t it?’

I’m afraid to go any further now. I want to change my mind and tell him no, of course it isn’t, but then I remember Tom and his kindness, his way of knowing me, of how he makes me feel, of how we were pushed apart when we were meant to be together, of the second chance we have and of how I drove all this way to make sure that nothing and no one would ever come between us again.

‘We want to give it a try,’ I whisper to Matthew. ‘Is it really that bad for you if we do?’

I reach out to touch him, but he pushes my hand away.

‘Charlotte, please!’ he says defiantly, and then downs his vodka and Coke in two gulps.