It all starts to make sense now, even if it seems so petty and ridiculous on Matthew’s part. He used to make every excuse he could think of to put me off Tom Farley. He used to love to tell me that he’d a woman at every gig, a different one every night, and because he knew I fancied Tom he’d remind me that I’d always just be the same to him. I’d offer to help out at gigs, but Matthew would have anyone but me come along and hang out with them. He would never let me get close.

‘I felt there was something deeper going on with him, something I couldn’t control, and I just couldn’t work around his negative energy any longer so I stormed out and we all became history after that,’ says Tom. ‘It cost me my whole musical future, but it also lost me a very good friend and any chance of seeing you again. Maybe that was a big mistake. Maybe it was a selfish, childish move that backfired as it broke up the band and it broke … well, it broke Matthew too, I suppose, didn’t it? I never imagined he would take it so badly.’

I can’t think straight. I put my hand to my forehead. Do my parents know this? Did Matthew tell them he was jealous of the idea of me and Tom getting together? I still don’t understand why. My family have been to hell and back with Matthew for four years now, but do they know I had a part to play in this too, even if I’d no idea?

The music in the bar is irritating now instead of entertaining and the punters are suddenly too loud. I’m uncomfortable instead of cosy. I’m sick instead of happy and content.

I can’t speak right now. All I can think of is my brother and his mental health problems that have driven him to some very dark places, of the recluse he has become, of his rejection, of his avoidance of any mention to do with the band he set up with such love and attention. He refused to tell me what happened, but I’d never have guessed any of this.

‘And you’re sure that’s all it was?’ I choked. I’ve a feeling there was more. There had to be. ‘It seems pretty trivial to build up a band for a year then throw it away over you asking for my phone number.’

Tom’s chest rises and falls, and he looks away, his face etched with pain.

‘I dunno, Charlie,’ he sighs. ‘I tried to talk to Matt. I really tried to dig deep with him, you know? He was acting so strangely around me, and I couldn’t get it out of him if there was something else. Are you sure he never told you anything?’