I want to ask him why he didn’t come and find me back then if his feelings were so strong. What stopped him from looking me up and saving us both from all this misery for so long? Even if it hadn’t worked out, why didn’t he try and make it happen in the first place? And so I take a deep breath and ask him just that.

‘I think you broke my heart that day,’ I confess to him in an outburst I’ve been trying so hard to hold back on. ‘My heart went to pieces when I saw you with your girlfriend, not to mention all the different girls I saw you with after that.’

He bites his lip, then runs his fingers through his hair.

‘I think that when you’re ready you should ask your brother why I never made that move,’ he says to me, and for the first time since last night I see a different look in his eyes. A little bit bitter, maybe.

‘Matthew?’

Oh no, not this again.

‘Or I can just tell you now some of what happened, and you can make your own mind up if you want to see me again?’

We sit together, in a slightly uncomfortable silence, each acknowledging the dip in the mood and the onset of reality. I can almost hear my heartbeat. I don’t know if I want to hear this or not.

‘Just tell me,’ I say, closing my eyes as I concentrate on breathing. I’ve a feeling my whole world is about to be pulled from beneath me, just when it was all going so well. ‘No matter what it is, I’m sure it can’t be that bad.’

He swallows, holds my hand a little tighter, and I can see that this is just as difficult for him as it is for me, but it’s like an elephant in the room now and we have to get it out of the way.

‘The girls I was with back then, they never meant a thing and Matthew knew it,’ Tom explains to me. ‘It used to irritate him that I got all this stupid attention. Not that he was jealous or anything, but more that he wanted me to focus on the band itself, or him at least, rather than the women who followed us. Then, one night after a gig, I got the courage to ask him for your number. I made some excuse about wanting to hear more of your songs and he flipped, like, totally flipped, and told me that he never wanted to see me near you again. Called me a womanizer and a … well, you can imagine the rest.’

I shake my head and smile a little, but Tom isn’t smiling at all. This is a big thing for him to tell me and even talking about it is really opening up old wounds.

‘I can imagine.’