And then I’m here. Oh God, I’m finally here and I’m just about to see how this all unfolds at long last.

I park the car outside the pub, fix my hair in the mirror, spray some perfume and, just as I’m about to get out of the car, I think of Jack again.

What is he doing now while I’m on this wild goose chase? Is he too reliving old memories with his old flame in Montreal, far away from home where no one would ever know if they rekindled things just for old times’ sake?

The thought of that makes me panic. What on earth am I doing here? This is madness. I get back into the car and turn on the ignition. I need to go home.

No, I need to see this through!

I get out of the car again and lock the door, and then I take a deep breath, bless myself just in case it helps in any way, and make my way towards the stone-clad pub and Tom Farley.

The wind from the coast blows loose strands of hair around my eyes as I make my way towards the bar with one hand clutching my handbag and the other holding onto my phone like it’s my lifeline and minder. Tom didn’t say to text him when I’d arrived, and he didn’t tell me to wait for him in a particular place. He just said he’d meet me here around seven. All very casual, but enough to make me get my ass into gear and make this journey for my own sake, if not his. I feel like a teenager on a first date, or like I’m meeting my boyfriend’s parents for the first time. Butterflies eat at my tummy but the rush of adrenaline pumping through me makes this all even more exciting and I know it’s going to be worth waiting on.

A tall, willowy brunette who looks like she hasn’t eaten in a fortnight stands outside the bar chugging on a rolled-up cigarette and she speaks in a foreign tongue in rapid bursts that tells she isn’t a happy camper. She looks through me like I’m invisible, even when I say hello to her. A tourist, I’m guessing. Once you hit the coast of Ireland, no matter what part of the island, it’s always packed with European and American tourists, trying to find the various sites and shores as they travel their way round in hired cars and camper vans.

I make my way to the door of the bar and once again get cold feet, but I can’t and won’t turn back now. This is the moment I’ve waited on forever. It’s time I put my past to bed and realized exactly where I’m going in my future.