He grinned, shaking his head. “I’m gonna regret admitting that, aren’t I?”

I pressed my lips together, trying to hold back my laugh. “You should’ve known.”

Ford’s smile turned gentle, a wistfulness filling his features as though he had lost himself in a memory. “I should’ve.”

I wanted to know what he was seeing, the scene he was lost in. Was he picturing the girl he’d left behind? The one who had been all knees and elbows. Or something else altogether? I cleared my throat. “After the lunch rush, you wanna go somewhere with me?”

Ford studied me carefully. “Always.”

My stomach clenched. “I’ll talk to Caelyn and Darlene; see if they can cover for us.” Ford nodded. “Don’t eat lunch.”

“Okay.”

It was as simple as that for Ford. He didn’t have the baggage that I did. Because I’d loved this man all my life. Adored him as a toddler when I’d chased him around the back yard, my little legs not getting me where I wanted to go. Crushed on him in middle school when I watched his football games with Vi. I’d fallen head-over-heels when he told me that I was worthy even if I didn’t want to be a doctor like my sister and father. I’d loved him forever, and the price I’d have to pay now was the guilt. Guilt and knowing I’d never have the one thing my heart wanted above all others. Him.

17

FORD

I pushed open the door to the parking lot, holding it for Bell. “You sure you don’t want me to carry that?”

“Nope.” She smiled up at me with that mischievous grin I used to see so often on her face. But it affected me differently this time, stirred something deeper. And at the same time, there was a painful pleasure in it, regaining something I’d thought was lost to me forever.

“Want me to drive?”

“Sure, I’ll play navigator,” she said.

I headed towards my SUV, and Bell let out a low whistle. “Fancy.”

Heat crept up the back of my neck. My family had always been solidly on the lower end of middle class. We never struggled to put food on the table, but my parents hadn’t been driving Mercedes G Wagons either. It had always been the Kiptons with the nice cars and the elaborate home. Bell had never seemed to care much about that stuff, but I wondered how hard it had been to give it all up when she went her own way. “There’s so much I want to know.”

The words tumbled out before I could stop them, and Bell’s steps faltered. “What do you mean?”