I had the urge to reach out, to round the desk, and pull her into my arms the way I had countless times before. To comfort her. Except I couldn’t do that because I was the one causing her pain. That familiar knife carved into my chest just a little bit deeper. I wanted to apologize, to beg for forgiveness, but I didn’t have the words. “I’m sorry” felt like the biggest cop-out imaginable. A pathetic Band-Aid for a lethal wound.

In that moment, I would’ve given anything to take Bell’s pain away. I would’ve traded places with Vi in a heartbeat. I’d wished it countless times. Gone over the moments leading up to the crash so often that they were forever burned in my brain. I thought of all the things I could’ve done differently, all the things that might have meant that Vi was still here and Isabelle didn’t hate me.

But I couldn’t rewrite history, and I didn’t have the words to make any of this better. I didn’t think any words had that power. But maybe I could help with the bar. Set Bell and my family up so that at least they weren’t drowning in worry anymore. It was such a pathetically small thing. But it was something. And something was better than nothing.

7

FORD

I pushed open my SUV’s door and stepped out onto the grass in front of the house that hadn’t changed at all in the eleven years I’d been gone. Even the shutters were painted the same color. My chest tightened as I moved onto the brick path and strode towards the house.

The front door opened before I reached the steps. “Hunter told me you were here, but I didn’t believe it. Not until now, when I saw you with my own two eyes. Get in here, baby boy!”

Heat crept up my neck as I jogged up the steps. “Maybe we could cool it with the ‘baby boy’?’”

She chuckled and wrapped me in a hard hug. “I’ve told you a thousand times. You’re my first—”

“You’ll always be my baby boy,” I finished along with her.

I pulled back but kept a hold of her shoulders. “You look great.” And she did. The dark circles that had lined her eyes the last time I saw her were gone. She had color back in her cheeks, and the worry lines that had pinched her brows were fainter now.

She swatted my shoulder. “Your flattery will work every time. I’ve got some cookies cooling in the kitchen. Why don’t you head into the living room and say hi to your dad while I get them plated up?”