I bristled at his words. “Trust you? I’ve laid myself bare for you. Told you things that I haven’t shared with anyone. You’ve invaded every last piece of my life. But I don’t even know how you truly feel about me. I tell you I love you, and you dodge and weave. Do you have any idea how much that hurts?”

Ford’s mouth fell open. “Bell—”

I held up a hand to silence him. “No. Don’t.” I turned on my heel and headed for the side door. I needed air. Whatever Ford would’ve said in that moment, whatever promises he’d been about to make, I wouldn’t have been able to believe them. Not a single word.

I pushed the door open, the cool ocean air a balm to my flushed skin. I strode towards the beach. I needed the sound of the waves, maybe even the feel of the water on my feet. My heart cracked a little more. I was so tired of having to battle to get those I loved to show me they cared. To show me that they’d stay, even when things got hard. Maybe Kara was wrong. Maybe I’d let myself fall too early and without investigating what was at the bottom of the cliff. Now I was on my way to the rocks below.

I passed by my workshop’s overhang. Maybe I’d lose myself in restoration work after my walk. That would be just the thing to help me get through the night. With a sudden jerk, I was flying backwards. My breath caught in my throat as a hand covered my mouth. A cloth choked me. I thrashed, doing my best to elbow the guy in the gut the way I’d learned in my self-defense classes. But my world was going slightly fuzzy around the edges, and my movements became clumsy, as if all of my limbs carried an extra twenty pounds.

I tried to bite down on the hand through the cloth. Someone cursed. Sweetness filled my mouth and made me gag. I did my best to yell for help, to call Ford, but it only came out as a whisper.

42

FORD

I whirled, slamming my fist into the wall. Luckily, my knuckles landed on a wooden beam and not the brick. I cursed. I had royally fucked things up. And yet, as I tried to get the words to curve around my tongue, even in the silence of the hallway, I couldn’t seem to force them out. I hadn’t told anyone I loved them in…a memory hit me with a force that had me stumbling back on my heels. Since the day of the crash. I’d told Vi that I loved her seconds before that deer had jumped in front of my SUV.