I’d spent the night circling everything around and around in my brain, trying to figure out how I’d gotten things so wrong. I landed on one thought. Because I was selfish. I had been so wrapped up in my own grief and guilt that I’d assumed that Bell felt the same way I did. That it was my fault. That she wouldn’t want the reminders my presence would bring. Sure, it hadn’t helped that Heather Kipton had said that Bell didn’t want to see me, but I had known to take everything that came out of that woman’s mouth with a grain of salt.

It was that selfishness that had done the most damage. Not believing Heather’s lies. Not my inability to avoid the deer. Not the scars that had been carved into Bell’s skin. And I had no idea how to heal a wound that I’d inflicted by being so focused on myself. And it wasn’t just Bell I’d hurt this way. It was my parents. Hunter. Friends from high school that I’d ignored and let fall away.

I scrubbed a hand over my stubbled jaw and turned to face the water. I wanted to fix it. To heal those relationships. But I had no idea where to even start. Wave after wave crashed into the shore. I could feel each hit. Each collision a reminder of the hurt I’d inflicted on those I loved because I couldn’t deal with the past.

I inhaled deeply, the cold salt air stinging my nose. I had to face it. I might not be able to heal the past hurts, but I could keep myself from inflicting new damage. I glanced around, taking stock of where I was.

A small smile pulled at my mouth as I shook my head. I’d been walking for hours. Walking and thinking and torturing myself with all the mistakes I’d made. And I’d ended up at the base of a cliff that held the graveyard Violet rested in.

I was moving before I could think better of it. Making my way towards the beach stairs that climbed the cliffside. I hadn’t set foot inside these grounds since I’d returned, hadn’t even really considered it. But I knew in this moment, I needed to. I had to face it. I couldn’t run anymore. It would eventually destroy me and everyone I loved.

By the time I reached the top of the steps, I was breathing heavily, part physical exertion and partly the anxiety whipping through my body. I took in the headstones dotting the well-manicured grass. There were new ones, and ones that looked to have been there for hundreds of years, battered and worn by the seaside weather.