Chapters (73)
- Rabbit Hole
- Also by Mark Billingham
- Title Page
- Copyright
- Dedication
- Epigraph
- Preface
- PART ONE
- ONE
- TWO
- THREE
- FOUR
- FIVE
- SIX
- SEVEN
- EIGHT
- NINE
- TEN
- ELEVEN
- TWELVE
- THIRTEEN
- FOURTEEN
- FIFTEEN
- SIXTEEN
- SEVENTEEN
- EIGHTEEN
- NINETEEN
- TWENTY
- TWENTY-ONE
- TWENTY-TWO
- TWENTY-THREE
- TWENTY-FOUR
- TWENTY-FIVE
- TWENTY-SIX
- TWENTY-SEVEN
- TWENTY-EIGHT
- TWENTY-NINE
- THIRTY
- THIRTY-ONE
- THIRTY-TWO
- THIRTY-THREE
- PART TWO
- THIRTY-FOUR
- THIRTY-FIVE
- THIRTY-SIX
- THIRTY-SEVEN
- THIRTY-EIGHT
- THIRTY-NINE
- FORTY
- FORTY-ONE
- FORTY-TWO
- FORTY-THREE
- FORTY-FOUR
- FORTY-FIVE
- FORTY-SIX
- FORTY-SEVEN
- FORTY-EIGHT
- FORTY-NINE
- FIFTY
- FIFTY-ONE
- FIFTY-TWO
- FIFTY-THREE
- FIFTY-FOUR
- FIFTY-FIVE
- FIFTY-SIX
- FIFTY-SEVEN
- FIFTY-EIGHT
- PART THREE
- FIFTY-NINE
- SIXTY
- EPILOGUE
- ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
- Back Cover
Lauren nodded, chewing. ‘I did something like that myself once. What I did though was just keep repeating the same word over and over, to mess with the nurses a bit. That’s all I said, that one word, whatever anyone asked me. Kept it up for two weeks.’
‘That’s really clever,’ I said.
‘I know,’ she said.
‘Shaun’s probably feeling bad enough as it is, today. It’s been a week since Kevin was killed, remember?’
‘So?’
‘So you should think about that, and maybe doing all that shouting the other night, when he was already so upset, might not have been the most sensitive thing you could have done.’
Lucy nudged me. ‘You’re wasting your breath, babe.’
Like I didn’t know.
‘I couldn’t give a toss,’ Lauren said.
I turned away, remembering, feeling like it was important. That freaky woman on the TV, showing off her messed-up fake tits. Shaun with his finger glued to some invisible scab or pimple on his chin, asking the same question as he always did, only this time looking like he was genuinely terrified it was really going to happen. Malaika doing her best to calm him down, but getting nowhere. Then Lauren up on her feet, outraged and shouting her big mouth off, demanding that somebody shut him up.
Well, somebody certainly had.
‘What was the word?’ Bob leaned towards Lauren. ‘The word you said over and over again.’
Lauren licked her spoon clean then dropped it into the bowl.
‘Cunt,’ she said.
Later on I was mooching around, while those who weren’t already in bed or otherwise too zombified to watch claimed their pitches in the TV room, when I spotted Malaika heading into the toilets. I stood outside and waited for her to emerge, turned on the tears when I heard the hand-dryer going.
‘Hey, Alice. What’s the matter?’
I shook my head as though I was far too upset to speak and let her lead me into an empty treatment room next to the 136. She handed me tissues and gave me some water until I’d calmed down. She shuffled her chair closer until our knees were kissing and asked what was upsetting me.
‘I . . . saw . . . Shaun.’ One word at a time, breathy and ragged like it was being dragged out of me. I swallowed some more water. ‘It’s horrible.’
‘I know, my love.’
‘What’s happened to him?’
‘I shouldn’t really discuss other patients, Alice. I can’t—’
‘He’s my friend.’ Verging on the hysterical now. ‘It’s important.’
Malaika shook her head. ‘I didn’t know the two of you were that close.’
‘After what happened to Kevin, you know?’ I glanced up and saw Ilias peering in through the window. He stuck his tongue out, then, thankfully, moved on. ‘We bonded.’
Malaika sighed and took the empty water glass from me. ‘You’re right, of course,’ she said. ‘This latest episode is horrible.’