‘Obviously while you’re denied unescorted leave that can’t happen, but if such restrictions were to be lifted . . .’

‘I won’t do it again,’ I said. You won’t catch me doing it again. ‘I promise.’

‘Well, I’m going to have to take you at your word,’ Bakshi said.

‘I’m sure she means it,’ Marcus said.

‘But what is more problematic is yet another email from Andrew Flanagan.’ She raised a printed sheet. ‘Another message left on his voicemail two nights ago.’

‘Not by me it wasn’t.’

She began to read the email out, but I had no intention of listening, so I closed my eyes and tried to think of something else. A happy place, or a babbling brook or whatever it is that shrinks and therapists are always wanking on about. I couldn’t think of anything suitable quickly, so I just made the loudest noise I could inside my head and thought about Andy being on fire.

‘Well?’ Bakshi said, when she’d finished.

I kept my eyes closed. ‘It’s not true, obviously. It’s . . . fake news. He’s gaslighting me again, same as the last time. He hates me because I “attacked” him.’ I used my fingers to put quotes around the word. ‘Talking about me being violent when you should hear some of the things he liked to get up to in the bedroom. I can tell you all about it if you want. He’s obviously still angry and he’s vindictive and he’s obsessed with doing anything he can to make sure I don’t get out of here.’ I thought about hitting him with that bottle; the clunk of it and the lovely vibration that ran up my arm. ‘He’s probably got brain damage.’

‘His email is very reasonable,’ Debbie said. ‘He sounds concerned.’

Now I opened my eyes and stared hard at her. ‘How’s Shaun today?’

Debbie smiled, like she’d been expecting the question.

‘Only I heard he’s still not speaking.’

‘You know very well that we’re not allowed to discuss the health and welfare of other patients.’

‘Alice . . .’ Bakshi waited until she had my attention again. ‘I’m sure you understand that in light of this, and the incident with the cannabis, I won’t be approving any lifting of your section today.’

‘Oh, really?’ I stood up. ‘I’m all packed and everything.’

‘But I think we can put you back on to basic fifteen-minute observation and we’ll see how things go from there.’

I said, ‘Cheers,’ but I was already on my way to the door. I opened it then turned to look at Sasha, the trainee. ‘What does any of this actually train you for? No, really, I’d love to know.’

She opened her mouth and closed it again, looked to Bakshi for help.

I walked out, slamming the door behind me and shouting as I walked away down the corridor.