BooksBarbecue
Back Rabbit Hole
Chapters (73)
  1. Rabbit Hole
  2. Also by Mark Billingham
  3. Title Page
  4. Copyright
  5. Dedication
  6. Epigraph
  7. Preface
  8. PART ONE
  9. ONE
  10. TWO
  11. THREE
  12. FOUR
  13. FIVE
  14. SIX
  15. SEVEN
  16. EIGHT
  17. NINE
  18. TEN
  19. ELEVEN
  20. TWELVE
  21. THIRTEEN
  22. FOURTEEN
  23. FIFTEEN
  24. SIXTEEN
  25. SEVENTEEN
  26. EIGHTEEN
  27. NINETEEN
  28. TWENTY
  29. TWENTY-ONE
  30. TWENTY-TWO
  31. TWENTY-THREE
  32. TWENTY-FOUR
  33. TWENTY-FIVE
  34. TWENTY-SIX
  35. TWENTY-SEVEN
  36. TWENTY-EIGHT
  37. TWENTY-NINE
  38. THIRTY
  39. THIRTY-ONE
  40. THIRTY-TWO
  41. THIRTY-THREE
  42. PART TWO
  43. THIRTY-FOUR
  44. THIRTY-FIVE
  45. THIRTY-SIX
  46. THIRTY-SEVEN
  47. THIRTY-EIGHT
  48. THIRTY-NINE
  49. FORTY
  50. FORTY-ONE
  51. FORTY-TWO
  52. FORTY-THREE
  53. FORTY-FOUR
  54. FORTY-FIVE
  55. FORTY-SIX
  56. FORTY-SEVEN
  57. FORTY-EIGHT
  58. FORTY-NINE
  59. FIFTY
  60. FIFTY-ONE
  61. FIFTY-TWO
  62. FIFTY-THREE
  63. FIFTY-FOUR
  64. FIFTY-FIVE
  65. FIFTY-SIX
  66. FIFTY-SEVEN
  67. FIFTY-EIGHT
  68. PART THREE
  69. FIFTY-NINE
  70. SIXTY
  71. EPILOGUE
  72. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
  73. Back Cover

‘It was OK.’ He was mumbling and the looking at the floor wasn’t helping, so I had to lean in to hear what he was saying.

‘Only I heard you’d had a row . . .’

Now he looked up, like he’d been tasered or something.

‘It’s fine,’ I said. ‘Nobody ever gets to say the things to someone who’s died that they wish they’d said. Sometimes the last things you say to a loved one aren’t . . . kind, but that’s how it goes. Don’t beat yourself up about it.’ I blinked, remembering a voluntary who’d been here for a couple of days and had spent most of the time doing exactly that. Daft bastard had knocked himself unconscious several times.

Shaun was nodding again and his eyes were all over the place.

‘Take your time,’ I said.

‘We were arguing about the drugs,’ he said eventually. It was still quiet, but suddenly he was talking nineteen to the dozen. ‘Fighting all the time. He was getting these drugs, a lot of them, and I told him it was stupid. I begged him and begged him . . . I told him that he’d end up going to prison and he wouldn’t be able to get well and I’d be stuck in here and we wouldn’t see each other again—’ He stopped suddenly and the hand that wasn’t scratching went to his mouth.

‘Where did he get the drugs from, Shaun?’ I waited then leaned across to lay a hand on his arm and began to rub. ‘Come on, you’re doing ever so well. You’re being dead brave, mate.’ Rub, rub, rub. ‘Where did he get them, Shaun?’ Keep saying the subject’s name to get their confidence. ‘Was there someone bringing them in for him?’

Then I saw his eyes widen suddenly, shift and fix, and I turned to see what he was looking at.

‘No, not Malaika . . . it’s not . . . are you saying he got them from someone in here? Is that what you mean, Shaun? Did someone in here—’

I stopped because I saw what was coming. He looked terrified and that bloody finger was pressed to his chin.

‘Am I going to die? Am I going to die? Am I going to die?’

I tried to shush him, but the volume just built and built until he knocked the chair over as he scrambled upright.

‘Am I going to die? Am I?’

Malaika was on her way across and I was trying to hold on to him.

‘No, of course you’re not going—’

‘AmIgoingtodieAmIgoingtodieAmIgoingtodieAmIGoingToDie?’

He was screaming it by now and other people in the room were already on their feet, some of them getting visibly upset and moving away, pressing themselves back against the wall.

Above the cacophony I could hear Lauren yelling, ‘Will someone shut that little twat up?’