Ilias sat back, smiling and humming with pleasure, delighted that someone had finally noticed his contribution. I took the chance to glance over at Malaika, who was running WEO/WAL interference for the evening. She was sitting in a corner, next to one of the less-than-realistic plastic ferns that are dotted around all over the place so that we don’t lose our connection with the natural world.

She looked content enough, slowly turning the pages of Take A Break.

‘So, bearing all that in mind, what’s your take on what happened to Kevin?’

He folded his arms and thought about it. ‘Kevin wasn’t very happy.’

As insights went, considering where we were, it was hardly Hercule Poirot. I said, ‘I don’t think anyone’s exactly thrilled, stuck in here.’

‘I’m perfectly happy,’ Ilias said. ‘You have to have a positive attitude.’

‘So why wasn’t Kevin happy?’

‘I think he felt trapped.’

‘Did he say that?’

‘He said . . . something. He couldn’t get out because people would be upset. I can’t really remember.’

‘Was this anything to do with Shaun?’ I was thinking about the argument the two of them were supposed to have had. Was Shaun the one Kevin felt trapped by?

‘Shaun is also unhappy. Now, because of what happened to Kevin, but he was not happy before.’

‘Why not?’

Ilias looked at me like I was an idiot. ‘You need to ask Shaun.’

I intended to, but I was saving him until last. I told Ilias that maybe the two of us should play chess some time, then stood up and walked to the front of the room.

‘Turn it over!’ he shouted again.

There was an Informal I’d never spoken to sitting on the sofa next to Lauren, so I turned on the menace and told him to move, told him he was in my fucking spot. He swore at me a bit – ignoring the angry shushing from Lauren – then stood up, and from the corner of my eye I saw Malaika doing the same thing. ‘It’s fine.’ I turned and smiled innocently at her. ‘Thing is, I can’t really see from back there . . .’

Malaika sat down and so did I.

Without taking her eyes off the screen, Lauren moved the remote control to the hand that was furthest away from me. She said, ‘Don’t even think about it.’

Getting anything at all out of Lauren was going to be a tough one, I’d always known that, but I’d thought about it. About the best way to come at her. I leaned across and started singing, quietly.

‘It’s so funny . . . that we don’t talk any more.’ I smiled, but she didn’t react. ‘Cliff Richard,’ I said. ‘His best one, if you ask me.’

She turned to me. ‘Are you serious? What about “Congratulations”? What about “Wired for Sound”?’ She shook her head, disgusted. ‘You’re a moron.’