I probably should have done, considering that he’s about as Scottish as I am, but I suppose it’s just not one of the things I find remotely strange any more.

I’ve got used to all sorts of weirdness.

‘I need to go and pack,’ Tony said.

‘Course you do,’ Lauren said.

Something else I forgot. Tony spends at least a couple of hours every day standing by the airlock with his coat on and his bags packed, waiting for his relatives from America to come and collect him. I’d been there several days before one of the nurses told me that Tony doesn’t have any relatives in America. I’m not convinced he has any relatives anywhere, because nobody comes to visit. That may be his choice, of course, because he can never be sure he isn’t sitting there passing the time of day with the Thing.

When Tony had gone, Ilias said, ‘Does anyone want to play chess?’

‘Oh for fuck’s sake,’ Lauren said.

I shook my head.

‘Come on,’ Ilias said. ‘Sundays are so boring.’

‘Not boring any more.’ Lauren sat back and sniffed. Jerked a thumb in my direction. ‘Not now Juliet Bravo over here reckons there’s been a . . . murder.’

She rolled the Rs, showing off, and Donna laughed, which was annoying. I resisted the temptation to point out she was doing Taggart and not Juliet Bravo. ‘I don’t reckon anything,’ I said. ‘There were homicide detectives here all night. A full forensic team. I told you, I’ve talked to them. I’m actually going to be helping with the investigation.’

Lauren began to sing again, changing the words to that old song by Sophie Ellis-Something-or-other. ‘It’s murder on the Fleet Ward . . . like to burn this fucking place right down . . .’

‘Is that true?’ Donna asked, when Lauren had finished. ‘You helping?’

‘It makes sense, when you think about it,’ I said. ‘To make use of a professional on the inside.’

‘Can I be your what-do-you-call-it?’ Ilias asked. ‘Sidekick.’

Lauren laughed, hissing through her manky teeth like someone had let the bad air out of her. I looked at one of the egg-streaked forks that Eileen hadn’t taken away yet and thought about pushing it into Lauren’s fat face.

‘I’ll see how it goes,’ I said. ‘I’ll have a word with the DCI.’

Lauren was still laughing when Marcus came over to sit with us. He’s not normally here on a Sunday, but obviously this was no ordinary weekend. He asked how everyone was feeling and said he hoped that we weren’t too shaken up by what had happened the night before.

‘I’m used to it,’ I said. ‘I was just telling this lot that the Murder Squad were all over this place while they were all asleep.’

‘Now, hang on, Alice—’

‘There were detectives here though, weren’t there?’

‘Please don’t talk about murder. It’s not helpful.’