‘It tastes like toast, apparently,’ Lauren says.

Bob punches the air and shouts, ‘Freedom!’ like he’s Mel Gibson in Braveheart. Donna and Lucy do the same and Lauren starts singing that old George Michael song.

Not freedom, I think. Safety. Then it strikes me that, much as a certain person must be chuffed to bits that I’ve come back – my anyone, my Thing – they’re probably loving the fact that I ran away in the first place. I remember what it felt like in my room the night before. As much as anything, I’m sure that whoever killed Debbie and now wants to kill me is getting off on the fact that I was scared enough to try and escape.

So, I might be back here again, exactly where they want me, but I’ll be fucked if I’m going to show them I’m afraid.

‘It was good, actually,’ I say. ‘Getting out for a bit.’

‘How was it good?’ Donna asks.

She seems desperate to know and I think it’s bonkers how quickly people in here have become institutionalized. Most of them are on a 28-day section, which means less time on the ward than me, but they talk like they’re lifers. As if going to a café or having a job or even walking about outside in proper clothes is something they can only ever dream about.

‘Yeah, do tell,’ Lauren says.

Then I remember that, for some of them, this is their umpteenth time in this place or another one like it. That they’ve probably spent more time in those faded pale-blue pyjamas than they have in their own.

Lifers . . .

‘Well, just spending a bit of time with normal people.’ I nod towards Ilias. ‘You know, talking to someone and not thinking they might suddenly take their trousers off.’

Ilias grins and salutes.

‘Or just talking to someone who’s actually standing still.’

Donna blushes.

‘Someone who isn’t singing all the time or talking about all the women they’ve shagged.’ I look across to the other table. ‘Someone who doesn’t burst into tears if you say the wrong word and someone who can finish a jigsaw when there’s another human being within a hundred bloody yards of him.’ I show them all a smile. ‘You know, normal people.’

Lucy grins and lifts her paper cup like she’s toasting us all.

I touch my own cup to hers. ‘Don’t get me wrong though, I missed you all like mad.’

There are the predictable jeers and groans. Ilias says, ‘Balls’ and Lauren lobs a chip at me.

‘Right, it’s ridiculous I know, but I actually did. Look, I would have come back anyway . . . I was happy to come back. Happier than I was before I came here, anyway. I know being stuck in this place was never on anyone’s to-do list or anything, but it’s not that bad, is it?’