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Back Rabbit Hole Save as PDF
Chapters (73)
  1. Rabbit Hole
  2. Also by Mark Billingham
  3. Title Page
  4. Copyright
  5. Dedication
  6. Epigraph
  7. Preface
  8. PART ONE
  9. ONE
  10. TWO
  11. THREE
  12. FOUR
  13. FIVE
  14. SIX
  15. SEVEN
  16. EIGHT
  17. NINE
  18. TEN
  19. ELEVEN
  20. TWELVE
  21. THIRTEEN
  22. FOURTEEN
  23. FIFTEEN
  24. SIXTEEN
  25. SEVENTEEN
  26. EIGHTEEN
  27. NINETEEN
  28. TWENTY
  29. TWENTY-ONE
  30. TWENTY-TWO
  31. TWENTY-THREE
  32. TWENTY-FOUR
  33. TWENTY-FIVE
  34. TWENTY-SIX
  35. TWENTY-SEVEN
  36. TWENTY-EIGHT
  37. TWENTY-NINE
  38. THIRTY
  39. THIRTY-ONE
  40. THIRTY-TWO
  41. THIRTY-THREE
  42. PART TWO
  43. THIRTY-FOUR
  44. THIRTY-FIVE
  45. THIRTY-SIX
  46. THIRTY-SEVEN
  47. THIRTY-EIGHT
  48. THIRTY-NINE
  49. FORTY
  50. FORTY-ONE
  51. FORTY-TWO
  52. FORTY-THREE
  53. FORTY-FOUR
  54. FORTY-FIVE
  55. FORTY-SIX
  56. FORTY-SEVEN
  57. FORTY-EIGHT
  58. FORTY-NINE
  59. FIFTY
  60. FIFTY-ONE
  61. FIFTY-TWO
  62. FIFTY-THREE
  63. FIFTY-FOUR
  64. FIFTY-FIVE
  65. FIFTY-SIX
  66. FIFTY-SEVEN
  67. FIFTY-EIGHT
  68. PART THREE
  69. FIFTY-NINE
  70. SIXTY
  71. EPILOGUE
  72. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
  73. Back Cover

Looking forward to that.

A few of us are in the music room waiting our turn, so I go and sit by L-Plate. She doesn’t immediately get up and move, which I take as a good sign. I’ve had the odd falling-out with her before and I know this is a bit more serious than arguing about a game of snakes and ladders, but she doesn’t normally stay angry for very long.

If people bore grudges every time there was a cross word in here, none of us would be talking to anybody.

‘Listen . . . about yesterday,’ I say.

She says nothing. She’s going to make me work for it, which is fair enough.

‘I’m really sorry about what I said. The food and everything.’

‘OK,’ she says.

‘I don’t think you’re posh and vacuous.’ Obviously I do, but you know, not in a bad way.

‘So, why did you do it?’ she asks. ‘Why did you say all those horrible things?’

‘I’ve got no idea, L. Just a wobble.’

‘Then you denied it, which made it much worse.’

‘I know.’

L-Plate’s still waiting for me to explain, but I don’t want to tell her that I simply don’t remember. I don’t want anyone to know that. It’s not like I haven’t forgotten stuff in the past, going places and meeting people, whole evenings sometimes, but it’s always been booze- or weed-related. Just a woozy blank after a heavy session, where the memories should have been. This is different though, and I don’t have any ex­planation and it’s scaring the hell out of me. I have no way of knowing when I forgot it or if I was forgetting it even while it was happening. It’s not even like it was anything deeply unpleasant or traumatic. I’ve done far worse things about which I can remember every sordid second.

I should probably talk to Bakshi about it, but if there’s something going seriously pear-shaped in my brain, I’m not sure I really want to know.

It’s all a bit bloody scary.

‘I was ashamed,’ I say.

L-Plate nods slowly, then beams, then claps to celebrate the moment. Like I said earlier, not a bad bone in her body. Not as many as some of us, anyway.

She starts rattling on about something or other, but before she can get into her stride George comes in and says the detectives are ready for me. I tell L-Plate we’ll catch up later and follow him out.