BooksBarbecue
Back Rabbit Hole
Chapters (73)
  1. Rabbit Hole
  2. Also by Mark Billingham
  3. Title Page
  4. Copyright
  5. Dedication
  6. Epigraph
  7. Preface
  8. PART ONE
  9. ONE
  10. TWO
  11. THREE
  12. FOUR
  13. FIVE
  14. SIX
  15. SEVEN
  16. EIGHT
  17. NINE
  18. TEN
  19. ELEVEN
  20. TWELVE
  21. THIRTEEN
  22. FOURTEEN
  23. FIFTEEN
  24. SIXTEEN
  25. SEVENTEEN
  26. EIGHTEEN
  27. NINETEEN
  28. TWENTY
  29. TWENTY-ONE
  30. TWENTY-TWO
  31. TWENTY-THREE
  32. TWENTY-FOUR
  33. TWENTY-FIVE
  34. TWENTY-SIX
  35. TWENTY-SEVEN
  36. TWENTY-EIGHT
  37. TWENTY-NINE
  38. THIRTY
  39. THIRTY-ONE
  40. THIRTY-TWO
  41. THIRTY-THREE
  42. PART TWO
  43. THIRTY-FOUR
  44. THIRTY-FIVE
  45. THIRTY-SIX
  46. THIRTY-SEVEN
  47. THIRTY-EIGHT
  48. THIRTY-NINE
  49. FORTY
  50. FORTY-ONE
  51. FORTY-TWO
  52. FORTY-THREE
  53. FORTY-FOUR
  54. FORTY-FIVE
  55. FORTY-SIX
  56. FORTY-SEVEN
  57. FORTY-EIGHT
  58. FORTY-NINE
  59. FIFTY
  60. FIFTY-ONE
  61. FIFTY-TWO
  62. FIFTY-THREE
  63. FIFTY-FOUR
  64. FIFTY-FIVE
  65. FIFTY-SIX
  66. FIFTY-SEVEN
  67. FIFTY-EIGHT
  68. PART THREE
  69. FIFTY-NINE
  70. SIXTY
  71. EPILOGUE
  72. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
  73. Back Cover

He says, ‘First off, Miss Armitage, I’m not at all happy about the offensive language on the voicemail you left.’

That makes me smile. A cuntathon I could remember. ‘It’s just a word,’ I say. ‘Get over yourself.’

‘It was abuse, plain and simple.’

I laugh out loud. I’m glad I took the call, now.

‘I was in half a mind to report it to the police.’

‘Well, we both know you’re not going to do that.’

That gives him some serious pause for thought. He might be an ex-cop, but he doesn’t know I’m one or that I’m well aware how dodgy his business practices are. His silence tells me he knows that he’s not dealing with an idiot, though.

‘Secondly, I’m still waiting for the second half of the payment.’

I’d completely forgotten about it, but I’m not going to tell him that. I’d rather have a bit of fun. ‘Well I still haven’t decided if I’m going to pay it,’ I say. ‘I mean I wasn’t that pleased with the service. “Guaranteed to exceed expect­ations”, that’s what it says on your website, and that would only be the case if I’d had no expectations at all. I had very high hopes, I really did, but frankly, Howard, it was piss-poor.’

There’s another pause before he says, ‘I’m very sorry to hear that, but I’m still expecting to be paid in full.’

‘What if I don’t?’

‘Then I might have to consider taking legal proceedings.’

It’s so tempting to tell him he can whistle for his money. To say, ‘So fill your boots’, or ‘See you in court’. I’m seriously thinking about it.

‘So?’ he says. ‘Are you going to pay, or what?’

I assume that if I was involved in legal proceedings of some kind then they’d have to let me out of here to do whatever’s necessary. That would be my right, surely. I mean, what if you get called up for jury service? Do people in places like this ever get called up for jury service? Yeah, I’m thinking it might be fun, taking Howard on, because it’s been a long time since I stood up in court, and don’t forget, the last occasion when I should have been there, I wasn’t deemed to be a fit enough witness. I always gave a good account of myself in front of a judge, everyone said that. I prepared well and made sure I did a good job. So if it comes to any kind of legal battle now, I’m damn sure I’ll win, and even though I know it won’t be the Old Bailey or anything, I decide that I might even be able to get a few other things off my mind while I have the chance.

Bring it on.