‘Yeah, I’ve had a cracking week,’ I said.

Malaika nodded, like she was on my side.

‘Though I gather there was a minor incident in the television lounge on Wednesday evening.’ Bakshi glanced at Marcus. ‘Some disagreement with Lauren?’

I laughed and shook my head. ‘Just a spot of handbags, that’s all. Nothing to get excited about. Lauren didn’t think I was giving Grand Designs, or whatever the hell she was watching, enough respect. Yeah, it was daft, but I shouldn’t have reacted.’

‘It’s good that you can understand that.’ Bakshi turned another page. ‘I gather it was an interesting occupational therapy session on Tuesday.’

‘You heard that, did you?’

‘The nurse who was overseeing the session submitted a written report.’

‘Did you see any of the pictures?’

‘Unfortunately, I didn’t.’

‘Oh you should,’ I said. ‘Lucy’s one especially. I swear, she’s like the Leonardo da Vinci of pubes.’ I stared at Bakshi, straight-faced. I might have been imagining the hint of a smile in return.

‘Well, that’s all very positive, and I’m delighted that you’re making progress. All that said, however, I’m sorry to say that I won’t be lifting the section this week.’

‘OK,’ I said.

I could see that they were all a little taken aback at the calmness of my response, the absence of histrionics, and I have to admit I was pretty surprised myself. No, I probably wouldn’t have argued if they’d told me I could trot off home that afternoon, but for the first time in two months I had a reason to be there. A reason to stay, at least until I had the proof I knew was coming, and a chance to act on it.

‘Can you guess why that might be, Alice?’

‘Why what might be?’

‘Why your detention under section three of the Mental Health Act needs to stay in place, for the time being at least.’

‘I haven’t got a clue,’ I said. ‘I didn’t freak out and show Marcus my tits, did I?’

‘No,’ Marcus said. ‘You did not.’

When I saw Bakshi lift up the sheet of paper, I knew what was coming, but I was genuinely confused.

‘At least there was only one late night phone call to Mr Flanagan this week.’

‘No way,’ I said. ‘I never called Andy.’ For once I wasn’t lying, either, not intentionally.

‘Quite a memorable one, though.’

Not for me it wasn’t.

‘I’m not going to read out what you said, but suffice it to say it was just the one word.’ She looked at me, waiting for the penny to drop. ‘A very offensive word, repeated over and over again.’

I nodded. Like I’d taken a leaf out of Lauren’s book. But I could not remember doing it.