Swallowing a lump in my throat, I looked down. My fingers fell to her arm as I began to tell her the “good” news. “Matt has been doing a lot over the summer for the band.” Glancing up at her, I shrugged. “Lining up more gigs, scoring that equipment so we can work on soundproofing Evan’s place, getting us that spot at Bumbershoot…”

None of this was news to her, so she nodded for me to continue. Stepping close to her, I started stroking her arm. This was the part she didn’t know, the part that was going to kill her…and maybe us. “A band that he’s been trying to get in with saw us at Bumbershoot. They were impressed and…” With a sigh, I grabbed her fingers and prayed for strength. “They want us to join them on their tour.”

I braced for her tears, braced for her outpouring of pain. It didn’t come, though. Instead, she blinked in surprise and pulled back to look at me. “You got invited to join a tour? An actual band tour?”

With a nod, I shrugged. “It’s a pretty decently sized one, about six other bands are already on it, from what Matt says. We’ll be a last-minute addition, bottom of the lineup, but on it, at least.” If I could even leave her, of course.

Kiera tossed her arms around my neck…like she was happy I was talking about leaving her. “Oh my God, Kellan! That’s amazing!”

She squeezed me tight, and a sad sigh escaped me. Why was she okay with this? I thought she’d be…devastated. Sensing my mood, Kiera pulled back to look at me. I couldn’t meet her eyes, and she cupped my cheek, stroked my skin with her thumb. “You’re not excited about this…because of me, right?”

I lifted my eyes to hers and shrugged. “It’s a six-month tour, Kiera…coast to coast.” She bit her lip, and her eyes started to water with the pain I’d been expecting. My stomach clenched at seeing it. I didn’t want to hurt her. I didn’t want to hurt us.

She smiled, but it was clearly forced. “It’s okay,” she said, her voice oozing encouragement. “Six months isn’t so long. And you’ll have breaks, right? I’ll still get to see you?”

Even though I wasn’t sure what the schedule looked like, I nodded. My gaze drifted to our feet. “I don’t have to go, Kiera.” Looking up, I shook my head. “I can tell the guys no.”

Her mouth dropped open as she suddenly comprehended that I’d already told them no in the bar—that was why they were mad at me. I kept my expression even. I’d rather have them mad at me than lose you.