Kiera forcefully turned me around and pushed me away. I left…but I thought about it the entire time I walked away, and I gave Kiera a purposefully devilish grin before I disappeared around the corner. Then I shook my head at myself and let the erotic imagery go. I wanted Kiera’s lips to only be on mine anyway. Her kissing me was my favorite fantasy…my only fantasy.

Kiera was way more relaxed once the ceremony was over. I, however, was way more freaked out. I felt like hyperventilating as I drove us all to the bar. I’m not ready. I can’t do this. When I parked the car and pulled the key out of the ignition, I felt an impending sense of doom settling over me. It was painful, like a vise around my chest, slowly squeezing the life out of me. I really can’t do this.

Anna and her parents got out of the car, breezy smiles on their faces as they greeted other people coming to the party. My eyes locked onto the reflection of the bar in my rearview mirror, and I couldn’t look away. I felt trapped, cornered, and the urge to run was steadily increasing, second by second. I wasn’t sure if I could actually, physically make myself walk into the bar. Was he here? Was he waiting? Fuck.

Kiera was still in the car, lingering with me since I hadn’t moved. I heard her unbuckle her belt and open the door. “Coming?” she asked.

Fuck. No…I can’t. “I’ll be there in a sec.” Would she understand if I left? Would she be mad? Hurt? I should go inside, for her sake, but fuck…the last place I wanted to be was the bar. I felt like I’d been dumped in a pool of concrete, and it was slowly hardening around me, freezing me, suffocating me. I had to move, but I had no choice but to stay.

Kiera closed her door and moved closer to me. “Hey, you okay?” she tenderly asked.

I forced myself to look at her, and I felt the panic rising as I did. “I don’t think I can do this, Kiera.” Now…or ever.

Her face filled with so much compassion, it made my chest hurt. Her eyes never wavering from mine, she placed a hand on my cheek and confidently said, “Yes, you can. You can do anything.”

I could tell she meant it. I could tell she truly believed it…but it wasn’t true. I wasn’t as perfect as she thought I was. And there were a lot of things I simply could not do. This was one of those things.