My fingers shifted to her neck as our mouths moved together. The intoxication of touching her again was chipping away at the pain. But not quickly enough. I still felt rubbed raw. I needed more. I needed to stop thinking, stop feeling. I needed her to distract me. Would she do that for me? Were we…okay enough for that? I needed her so much right now, needed to know if she could be on the same page as me. I deepened the kiss, experimenting with her forgiveness.

She pulled away, but I saw passion in her eyes, not rejection. The way she searched my face though…I wasn’t sure what she saw, but it was enough to make her concerned. “You need to see him, Kellan. You need to put this chapter behind you, so you can move forward.”

Annoyance shot up my spine. Shaking my head, I tried to find her lips again. The only thing I needed was for us to stop talking about it. She knew everything, knew all my secrets…that was how I was putting the past behind me.

I almost reconnected with her lips, but she firmly held me back. “You need to,” she said again.

The annoyance shifted to anger, and I compressed my lips tight so that I didn’t say something rash. I inhaled a deep breath, but it did nothing to calm me. Shaking my head again, I told her, “This is exactly why I didn’t want to tell you.” All those other reasons applied too, but this was the biggest reason I held back. I knew she wouldn’t let it go.

She opened her mouth to say something, but I shook my head again and cut her off. “No, you can save all of your logical reasons and philosophical viewpoints. I will never see that man. Got it?” I don’t give a shit if it doesn’t make any sense to you. It’s what I want.

Not allowing her time to try and debate with me, since her opinion was irrelevant, I shot up off the couch and headed for the stairs. If she couldn’t be on board with this…I wasn’t sure what that meant for us. Just let me have this, please.