I’d seen Matt get stage fright before, but nothing like this. It was fairly typical for Matt to be a bundle of nerves before a show, especially one at a new place, and on occasion, he did throw up before we went onstage, but he’d never flat-out refused to do a show before. He’d always found a way to cope and perform, usually by ignoring everyone around him. It didn’t seem like that was going to work tonight though. I never got nervous about going up on stage, not anymore, and never as bad as what he was going through right now, so I really didn’t know how to help him. I glanced at Evan, and he shrugged, equally unsure.

“Matt,” he said, trying anyway. “It’s gonna be all right. You know our songs better than all of us. I don’t think you could mess up if you tried.”

Matt shook his head as he turned to Evan. “I can’t go out there…too many people…”

Evan shrugged again, then mouthed, What do we do?

Shit. What did we do? I supposed I could haul Matt over my shoulder and plop him onstage, but honestly, by the look on his face, I was pretty sure he’d just throw up all over the place if I did that. So sure, I could physically get him out there, but I couldn’t force him to calm down, and that was what he needed right now—to be calmed down. Damn it…I really wished Rachel were here. I was sure she could do it. Maybe I should call her? Or maybe hearing her voice would immediately have him on a bus back home. I wasn’t sure, and I didn’t want to risk it. As much as a part of me loved the idea of going home, we couldn’t come this far to fail without even trying. Matt would never forgive himself.

Tentatively, I looked over at Griffin, silently asking for his help, although I really wasn’t sure if that was a good idea or not. Griffin could help…or he could make this about a thousand times worse.

Griffin glanced at my questioning face, then rolled his eyes and smacked Matt on the back of the head. “Lighten the fuck up, pansy.”