It was after Quinn had gone that Amanda approached him. “You can leave, after Quinn gets back. I’m sorry this has kept you away so long, I know you hadn’t planned—”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“But—”

“I’m staying, Amanda.” He turned away then, but she came after him. Tenacious, Greg had always said. Obviously, he’d known his daughter well.

“Look, if you’re staying because you feel guilty or responsible or something, don’t. You shouldn’t and you’re not. So you can just go home.”

He turned back then. “I’m staying so I can live with myself,” he said flatly. “Which is hard enough already without adding abandoning you when you’re in trouble to the list.”

For a long moment Amanda just looked at him. There was something different about her gaze, something beyond just the absence of the anger. Something...warmer? That the idea even occurred to him rattled him, and he was about to be rude and turn his back on her when she spoke so softly he felt the urge to lean in to be sure he heard her.

“For all the horrible things I said and thought, it’s still nothing to what you’ve said to yourself, is it? You blame yourself more than I ever could.”

“Then you’re not blaming me enough,” he said, his voice harsh.

He did turn his back then, and headed for the kitchen, where Hayley was preparing more coffee. He took the cup she silently poured for him, cooled it a bit so he could gulp it down, needing the caffeine hit more than anything.

“I’m going to make a circuit outside,” he said.

Hayley nodded. “Take Cutter.”

“I will. He’s...a good partner.” He’d hesitated on the words, remembering yet again what had happened to his last partner.

“He is,” Hayley said. “And unlike humans, he doesn’t feel guilty when he does all he can do and it doesn’t work out right.” Startled, he met her gaze. She took a sip of coffee before adding, “You know, some of the standards we hold ourselves to are more than anyone else would ever require.”

You blame yourself more than I ever could.

He needed to get out of here. Before he started believing what two kind, generous women were saying.

Chapter 21

Amanda felt oddly disoriented. She had taken a shower in an effort to wash away the feel of the attacker’s hands on her, and even the familiar process seemed strange. When she’d finished she’d stood there dripping for a minute before she remembered the next step was to get out and grab a towel.