She knew she was tired. She had been up all night after all, but just the idea of lying down and trying to sleep made her recoil. She didn’t want to relive this night in dreams. She had some vague idea of staying up until she fell asleep involuntarily, thus saving herself from lying awake trying to keep from thinking about what had happened tonight.

The incontestable proof that someone was after her was part of it of course, but it wasn’t all of it. She was only now realizing how much time and energy her condemnation of Adam had taken up. She felt like a compass needle that had lost North, spinning a bit.

And now that she knew it was both unfair and unfounded, she also understood that it had done damage to her as well as to him. Holding on to anger always did, the counselor she’d seen right after her father’s death, the one who had inspired her to her current work, had said.

And you quit seeing her because she told you it wasn’t healthy to hate so much, and you didn’t want to hear it.

She didn’t like admitting that, even to herself, but there it was and it was true. It had given her purpose, and sometimes it had been the only thing that had gotten her through the next day, the next hour, the next minute.

The horrible things she’d screamed at him in the hospital, when he’d been lying there helpless, awaiting the surgery that apparently had only put him partly back together, played back in her mind. Would he still be blaming himself if she hadn’t poured her anger and fear and grief onto him that day?

In the space of a week her entire perception of the most momentous event of her life had been turned upside down. And this new view—the truth—made her feel like sitting in her room and calling herself every vile name she knew. But it still wouldn’t be enough.

She had never bothered to find out the truth. Because she assumed she knew the truth. She’d heard the phrase “blinded by grief” before, but she hadn’t applied it to herself. Because she’d thought her vision was crystal clear and she’d laid responsibility right where it belonged.

Except she’d been completely wrong.

And Adam Kirk was everything her father had thought he was.

The real problem now was that he didn’t believe it. And a big part of that could be laid at her door.