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Back One Winter Morning Save as PDF
Chapters (56)
  1. Cover
  2. About the Author
  3. By the same author
  4. Dedication
  5. 1
  6. 2
  7. 3
  8. 4
  9. 5
  10. 6
  11. 7
  12. 8
  13. 9
  14. 10
  15. 11
  16. 12
  17. 13
  18. 14
  19. 15
  20. 16
  21. 17
  22. 18
  23. 19
  24. 20
  25. 21
  26. 22
  27. 23
  28. 24
  29. 25
  30. 26
  31. 27
  32. 28
  33. 29
  34. 30
  35. 31
  36. 32
  37. 33
  38. 34
  39. 35
  40. 36
  41. 37
  42. 38
  43. 39
  44. 40
  45. 41
  46. 42
  47. 43
  48. 44
  49. 45
  50. 46
  51. 47
  52. 48
  53. Acknowledgements
  54. Read More
  55. Two Years Later
  56. THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING

Bonnie closed her eyes for a moment to consider which part she should tell next. Everything back then had felt as if it happened all at once, but it was important now to separate those events as coherently as she could.

She tried to imagine what her daughter would want to hear, but that was impossible when she knew so little about her. She knew bits, snatches that she had picked up over the years, through letters she had received and searches on the internet. Evangeline Nash was a private person, but Bonnie had found a few traces of her online: photos of a sullen-looking teenager on the red carpet at a film premiere, her hand enveloped tightly by her adoptive mother’s; a local newspaper report detailing her first prize win at a dressage event. Her Facebook profile picture was of a striking dark bay horse, and further exploratory clicks had led Bonnie to a more recent photo of Evangeline with her arm wrapped around the shoulders of a laughing blonde girl.

That one had jolted her in its familiarity.

Would Evangeline slam the door in Bonnie’s face as soon as she realised who she was? Would David and Anna? It was no more than she deserved. Then again, if Evangeline was anything like Bonnie, she would have an incurable need to know all the facts, no matter how horrid and hurtful. Bonnie had always been that way, had perpetually chased and probed and nettled until she got the truth. Some facts had to be known, whether you sought them or not, and it was one of those that had convinced Bonnie she must finally make this trip. Because in order to face her future, she must first confront her past.

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19

Not since my days at the stables have I had to set an alarm to go off so early in the morning.

It is amazing what the body gets accustomed to, but also how quickly habits can fall away from the fore if you don’t keep up with them. Since I quit my job at the yard, I often sleep in until past ten, and I have gone from being almost continually active to not moving much for most of the day. My once-firm thighs have softened, and my bottom is now the consistency of blancmange, where previously it was barley sugar. I even feel out of breath climbing the stairs nowadays, and I used to bound up them two at a time. I know it’s not good for me, and that I have done that dreaded thing and ‘let myself go’, but it’s only really now that I am starting to notice, let alone care much.