If only it were that simple. Perhaps I could strive for something close to happiness again, if I wasn’t the one to blame for Anna’s death, if I had behaved better, pushed less and apologised more quickly. Anna loved me enough to forgive, but I don’t love myself in the way she did. I never have. That is at least one thing that Bonnie and I will have in common, I think dully – neither of us loving me.

Kit doesn’t let go of me until Tui begins to clamber back to her feet, and then he uses his thumbs to wipe any remaining tears from my cheeks. I rest my face gratefully against his hands, not caring what he thinks, or how it might look, just needing the comfort.

‘Penguins now?’ asks Tui hopefully, jiggling on the spot.

Kit drops his hands from my face to check his watch.

‘Not long now.’ He puts his head on one side and regards her for a moment or two. ‘But first, perhaps we should head back to the guesthouse and change?’

‘Hm-mm,’ giggles Tui, and shakes her head before grabbing for my hand.

‘No running!’ yells Kit, but his voice is carried away by the wind as Tui and I set off back along the pier, dodging lounging seals and squealing as one barks at our heels. By the time he catches up with us, my earlier sorrow has evaporated. I know a few near misses with some wild seals are not the reason I feel better, though – that has far more to do with the people standing here beside me.

33

We return to the bed and breakfast to change into warmer clothes for the evening, because even though the day was scorching, it is supposed to get chilly down by the sea at night. Plus, as Kit explains to me and Tui as we share a pizza in a restaurant near the town centre, there is a lot of waiting around when it comes to the art of penguin spotting, and you must stay as quiet and still as possible, so as not to startle them.

We arrive at the colony just before the doors open at eight p.m., then make our way along a winding boardwalk path to a small grandstand. Kit has splashed out and bought the best seats in the house, which will give us a front-row view of all the blue penguins as they waddle up from the water. What began as just a few nests amongst the rocks here has expanded into a thriving blue penguin community, with the petite sea birds free to come, go and breed as they please.