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Back One Winter Morning Save as PDF
Chapters (56)
  1. Cover
  2. About the Author
  3. By the same author
  4. Dedication
  5. 1
  6. 2
  7. 3
  8. 4
  9. 5
  10. 6
  11. 7
  12. 8
  13. 9
  14. 10
  15. 11
  16. 12
  17. 13
  18. 14
  19. 15
  20. 16
  21. 17
  22. 18
  23. 19
  24. 20
  25. 21
  26. 22
  27. 23
  28. 24
  29. 25
  30. 26
  31. 27
  32. 28
  33. 29
  34. 30
  35. 31
  36. 32
  37. 33
  38. 34
  39. 35
  40. 36
  41. 37
  42. 38
  43. 39
  44. 40
  45. 41
  46. 42
  47. 43
  48. 44
  49. 45
  50. 46
  51. 47
  52. 48
  53. Acknowledgements
  54. Read More
  55. Two Years Later
  56. THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING

‘What did happen?’ I ask, playing dumb, but Simon is shaking his head.

‘She’s never said. Whenever I brought it up, she’d go all quiet on me, you know? Shutters would come down over her eyes.’

He frowns as he recalls it; I sip more of my beer.

‘I see,’ I say eventually. ‘So, that’s why you have no idea why she would go to England now, because she hates it so much?’

Simon shrugs expansively.

‘Not a dicky of a clue,’ he says with a sigh. ‘But I hope she’s gone there to make her peace with it all, you know? Something’s been haunting that woman, and I think whatever it is has held her back. She’s never really let herself be happy, or let anyone in very far. Me and my wife –’ he points towards an elegant blonde over by the food table – ‘tell each other everything, but I worry that Bon has never had that. She just resists it, and I don’t even think she knows why.’

Simon looks pensive now, lost in his own memories – presumably of the relationship that he and Bonnie once shared, which did not end up working out for whatever reason. Of course, I know something that he does not about what happened to Bonnie in England – I happened. Could the mere fact of my existence be the reason she shut Simon out – even after they had their own child together? Or did something else happen all those years ago to cause my birth mother to close herself off from everyone? Something worse and even more life-changing than giving up a child?

And if so, what?

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26

Bonnie

After she left London in 1992, Bonnie had tried her best not to think about Seth Cooper. Even if she had wanted to contact him, she wouldn’t have known how. Nobody had a mobile phone in those days, and the only number she’d ever had for him, which was the landline in the shared flat he rented in Shadwell, was out of service the one time she had tried it.

As the years progressed and everyone moved their lives online, Bonnie had begun a search for him, but it had been half-hearted at best. The fact of it was, she didn’t really want to locate him. She just needed confirmation that she had not dreamt the whole thing.

But it was Seth she was thinking about now, as she sat in the hard-backed chair in the corner of the library, her notebook and pen on the table in front of her. She had told Tracey that she would write in a café for once, but it was Christmas Eve, and every coffee shop in the local area was teeming with stressed-out parents, excitable children and groups of insolent teens. Seeking solitude, Bonnie had wandered the streets of Boughton-under-Blean until she discovered this place.