I was attracted to Seth as soon as I saw him. I guess you’re a bit too young to remember the band Nirvana, but I bet you know who Kurt Cobain is, right? Well, imagine a slightly less grubby version – that is what Seth looked like. The fact that I was a massive Nirvana fan at the age of eighteen definitely helped when it came to his allure, but it was also eye-opening to meet a man so unlike the boys I had grown up with back in New Zealand. They were all big meatheads – or so I thought then – but Seth was slim with long hair. I had never met anyone who looked quite like him, and as such, he caught my attention straight away.

Sunrise Café was not far from the University College London campus, so we often had students popping in for coffee or toasted sandwiches. I used to eavesdrop on their conversations as I cleaned the tables, and they all seemed so knowledgeable and worldly-wise, with their fashionable clothes and their packets of Silk Cut. Seth intimidated me just as much, but unlike the other students, he used to come in with one of his professors. The two of them were Friday-afternoon regulars, and over the weeks that followed, I got to know both of them quite well. Tracey had a soft spot for the young professor, and would give him free custard tarts, but for me it was all about Seth.

Dating wasn’t something I had ever done before at home. My parents were overprotective in the extreme, and aside from the odd kiss at a school dance or something, I hadn’t had much experience with boys. That’s not to say I didn’t want any – I did – it just wasn’t worth the row that I would face at home. I think Mum and Dad must have known that I would start meeting boys once I went travelling, but I guess they figured what they couldn’t see wouldn’t worry them as much. Or I thought so then. Now, of course, I know better. When you’re a parent, you are always bloody worrying.

Anyway, as you can see, I was quite an innocent eighteen-year-old – and very naive, too, even if I pretended that I wasn’t. I wanted everyone to believe that I was as self-assured and mature as all those other girls my age that came into the café – and I especially wanted Seth to believe it. Have you ever liked a boy so much that he occupies your every waking thought? Getting a flash of the teeth from Seth would keep me going for days, and I would spend the hours that I wasn’t around him plotting what I would say when I was.

But nobody was more surprised than me when he turned up after closing one evening and asked me out. Tracey had left early for the day, and I had the radio turned up full blast and was dancing around like a right dafty. When he walked through the door, I was so shocked that I whipped round with my cloth in my hand and swiped him right in the eye. Oh my God, I was bloody mortified – I almost cried. But Seth just laughed and made some joke about it being better than a wet fish. He was like that, you see, so confident and funny with it. I couldn’t understand why someone like him would choose me, and therein, I suppose, lay my biggest problem.

Our first date was three days later. Seth took me to the National Gallery – you know, the big one in Trafalgar Square? What am I thinking? Of course you know! You’re British, after all. Anyway, we talked a lot about the history behind the paintings. I had no clue what he was even on about half the time, but it felt like such a grown-up way to be spending a Sunday afternoon. I barely spoke when we were in there, in case I ended up saying something stupid and putting him off.

Afterwards, we went for a meal at a little pub in Soho, and Seth even ordered a bottle of wine for the table. I had never even tried wine before, and I don’t mind admitting to you now that I thought it was the foulest-tasting thing I had ever put in my mouth – but I couldn’t let on as much to Seth. I wanted him to think that I was sophisticated. Silly, isn’t it? Even writing it down now makes me feel like a prize wally. I want to be honest, though. That’s the whole point of this story, to tell you the truth of how it was, and how I felt – I promised myself when I started this that I would be nothing but truthful, no matter how much it scares me, and so that’s what I will continue to do.