Now, the luggage carousel below me shuffles and groans into life, and I stare down at the scalloped pattern of the black rubber surface until suitcases, pushchairs and rucksacks begin to roll past. David gave me Anna’s old backpack to use on this trip, which is khaki green and covered in sewn-on patches. Unlike me, she was quite the adventurer in her younger years, and explored most of Europe under her own steam. Anna and David’s big retirement plan had always been to travel the world together; now they will never get the chance.

Shouldering the heavy pack with a groan, I make my way towards the exit. My journey so far has taken me from London to Dubai to Melbourne to Auckland, and from there down to Queenstown on New Zealand’s South Island. I currently have no idea what time it is in the UK, or how many hours I have been in transit, but I do feel relieved to have finally made it. I am here, I will do what needs to be done, and then I will return to whatever is left of my life back in England.

Outside, the sunshine beats down on me, so strong and sudden that it causes me to stop in my tracks. I know it’s summer here in the southern hemisphere, but the ferocity of the heat still takes me by surprise. The jeans I travelled in feel all at once constrictive, and I peel off the thick pashmina that kept me snug on the numerous flights, bundle it up into an untidy ball and stuff it into my rucksack.

All I can see of New Zealand so far is clear blue sky, concrete pathways and the leaves on distant trees. The air is dry and crisp, and as I stand for a while, taking it all in, couples and families filter out past me. There are groups of older teens carrying backpacks, their tanned skin the colour of toffee and their wrists adorned with leather bracelets and coloured twists of string. They all seem to have somewhere to go, or people to meet, and watching them stride around so happily prompts a hollow lurch inside.

I know what David would say if he were here, his head on one side and his bespectacled eyes full of parental encouragement: ‘Come on, Genie – think what Evangeline would do.’

That other Evangeline, the natural traveller, the version of me who has always been the bolder, brainier, better. She can sod right off.