Even though I can barely see his words through my tears, I am also smiling. In the few minutes before I read Kit’s note, I hadn’t known for sure what my plans were – if I would stay here in New Zealand or venture home to England. But now, thanks to his note, I do. I guess that really, the truth has been creeping up on me for some time now, and that it simply needed someone else to state what Kit would probably call the ‘bloody obvious’.

It has been so long since I have been able to picture Anna and not see an expression of hurt on her face, but now when I conjure her up in my mind, my beautiful mum looks content. She would have been happy for me – Kit was right. All Anna would ever have wanted for me is happiness, in whatever form that might be. Kit has taught me how to start making sense of her death, while meeting Tui has shown me that there is way more for me to do. Hiding away from the world is no longer an option – I need to be brave for my sister, but more than that, I want to be courageous for myself, too. Because I am allowed a look-in – I am also important, and loved, and wanted by those I care about.

For all these years now, I have resented a mother who gave me up – but what Bonnie really did when she left me behind was provide me with more love. With Anna and David, I had an extra helping, more than Bonnie was capable of offering at the time, and yet that young, scared girl never stopped caring about me. Far from having less than those who I perceived to be ‘normal’ people, I have, in fact, had far more. I’ve just been too blind and self-centred to realise it until now.

It occurs to me then that if Anna had never died, I might not have made it here. I may not ever have met Tui. Even if Bonnie had sought me out when she did, who is to say I would have listened? Would the allure of a half-sister have been enough to tempt me as far away as New Zealand, or did I have to come face-to-face with Tui to really understand how intrinsic she is to my life, and to my future?