‘After I had you and came back here,’ Bonnie says, clicking her tongue against her teeth to distract Brian from eating the grass, ‘I rented a room in Auckland for a month and spent almost the whole of it completely alone. I don’t think I have ever felt so lonely, or so utterly bloody miserable.’

I get the impression that she wants to say more, so I remain quiet, and for a few moments the only sounds are the birds in the trees and the horses’ hooves on the stony path. Keith has been noisily blowing the dust from his nose since we left the yard, and now he stops to rub his handsome head along an outstretched foreleg.

‘I couldn’t go home right away,’ Bonnie explains, looking down at her reins. ‘I needed time to heal, both physically and in here.’ She taps the side of her hat. ‘I was an idiot, though, because I thought that I was strong enough to cope by myself, and I wasn’t.’

‘That sounds familiar,’ I allow, thinking of how I hid indoors after Anna’s accident.

‘Do you know what my single biggest regret is, after leaving you behind?’ she asks, and I shake my head.

‘No.’

‘It was not telling my parents about you. By the time I had grown up enough to realise that they would have supported me – and you – no matter what, it felt like it was too late. They would have insisted that I fly back to England and bring you home, and I couldn’t do that. I didn’t want to go back on my promise to David and Anna.’

‘Do you think they would have liked me?’ I ask, my voice so small that I am amazed she hears me.

‘Loved you,’ she says sadly. ‘I’m not religious or anything like that, you know, but I like to think that if there’s any way of them looking down on me, then this would make them happy – seeing us together in this way after all this time.’

‘And Anna, too,’ I agree, whereupon Bonnie gives in to a deep sigh.

‘Anna was such a darling,’ she says.

‘You must have been close, the three of you,’ I guess, and Bonnie nods.

‘We were. David was a saint and Anna did everything for me. I never doubted for a second that she would be an amazing mother – a far better one than me.’

I start to say something, only for my words to falter, and Bonnie brings Brian to a standstill, waiting until I have caught up.

‘Go on,’ she urges.

‘I can understand why you wanted to help them,’ I begin, ‘but I still don’t get why you didn’t want me. Why didn’t you want to keep me?’